The talismans of our previous passion fill my closets and drawers. There was the giddy rush of the initial silk scarf phase, followed by the easy elegance of the vintage scarf clip era.
There will never be a time as heady as the online excitement of the Ebay seller who sold size 10 Talbots shoes from catalogue shoots. Ebay brought us together for eight catalogue cycles. The memories line several closet shelves in various colors and heel heights -- sandals, boots, formal, office and casual wear.
When it was good, we had it all.
This isn't to say it was always perfect. Early along, I was stung deeply by the retalitory feedback I got when I complained about not getting my Doug Flutie Beanie Baby.But the pain healed quickly, awash more than 600 happy buyer transactions since 1999.
Jobs, addresses and even friends change in six years, but Ebay and I were solid.
Sure there were months I ignored him, but he understood the hard times when time or money were short and patiently stood by waiting for our next reunion. I always came back. It was always as good as it was before. Ebay was like that.
It was early in my scrapbook phase that a woman stopped me in a craft store and whispered I could get the highly coveted Sizzix dies on Ebay much cheaper than retail.
Of course Ebay rose to the challenge. The first combined order I bought was more than 60 percent off retail.. including shipping. I believed that Ebay and I would have a lifetime of reunion honeymoons.
It was gambling that eventually came between us. Well, actually it was the Sizzix die cuts for playing cards and poker chips (items featured prominently in several family photos and an obvious scrapbooking complement).
The seller didn't answer emails about shipping. Each day of an empty mailbox opened the chasm between Ebay and I a little further.
We turned to our mutal friend, PayPal, for mediation and relief. As the dispute was being investigated for refund, I made a few small purchases, maybe to let Ebay know I was trying... but there were serious matters of trust.
Sure Ebay suspended the account of the chip die fraud, but how did I know there wasn't another one just like her being signed up?
While I awaited PayPal resolution and refund, three weeks went by on an interim purchase without delivery. The seller answered my email to say that Canada, where she is, is afterall another country and it sometimes takes time.
She's in Ontario. I can eat lunch there and be back at my desk in an hour.
When Paypal notified me I had been awarded a refund of $0.00 on the chip die cheat because there were no funds in the violating account to disperse, the veil was lifted.
I saw the relationship clearly. The risk/reward balance had shifted. It was over.
I bit my lower lip hard and deactivated.
I'm not bitter. He'll find another (million or so people).
I'll pay retail.
But we'll always have the Talbot 10s.

Copyright 2005 Judi Griggs