How does one address the anniversary of a deceased spouse? Should I say, “Today is our anniversary” or “Today would have been our anniversary” or “This is the day he often said was much bigger than Christmas to him; our anniversary” or what….exactly what is proper, I wonder. Five days from now will be another anniversary of his death. A lovely, meaningful (but short) ceremony will take place on Sunday with our Pastor and a small number of our close friends gathering together to spread his ashes. He was such a free spirit so I’m sure he will appreciate being “released” in his favorite place. Our first date and others to follow were in this place, he always said this is where he became “real” (in the Velveteen Rabbit sense), this is where he often took our children and grandchildren to play and ride the train, and it’s the first place he wanted to visit when we moved back to this city. He loved to drive the Harley over, park, climb off and go push me high in the swings. Much of my damaged childhood was healed with him in this park. He avoided the sun, liked space around him, adored children and enjoyed boating and the water. So the memorial bench dedicated in his honor sits generously spaced from the other benches, in the shade, near the lake, paddle boats and noisy playground filled with the laughter of children. It was chosen four years ago with much deliberate thought.

As I was readying for work this morning, my loving and thoughtful still-new husband tenderly offered a card which read, Happy Anniversary. Celebrating the day two very special people said “I do.” Who thought one person could be so blessed…twice.