Okay, so we don't have to move but this would have been the deal.

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too, we've
decided that we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking
the other Blue States
with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes
California, Hawaii, Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation,
and especially to the
people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the former slave
states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenues, you get to
make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than
the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq
at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing
to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
We do wish you success in
Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
control of 80% of the
country's fresh water, more than 90% of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the
nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality
wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of
the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and
soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of
the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the
Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal
Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will
have to cope with 88 % of
all obese Americans (and their projected health
care costs), 92% of all U.S.
mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of
the hurricanes, 99% of all
Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
Jones University, Clemson and the University of
Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states
believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the war,
the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that
evolution is only a theory, 53%
believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of
you crazy bastards
believe you are people with higher morals then we
lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can
have that dirt weed they
grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States