1. Never squat with yer spurs on.
2. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew,
your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
3. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over
and put it back in your pocket.
4. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so
good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth
shut.
5. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is
stop diggin'.
6. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
7. Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out
of good whiskey.
8. Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes
from bad judgment.
9. Always drink upstream from the herd.
10. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back
every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a
person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
12. When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to
have it thrown around by somebody else.
13. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n
puttin' it back in.
14. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.
It's not so important to know what it is, but it's
critical to know what it was.
15. Never miss a good chance to shut up.