The Good

I'm feeling pretty pleased these days. I finally have the will and even more, the want to sit at my computer and tap away. I think it must be making myself submit that has helped and given me a purpose. And honestly, I expect rejections and I'm fine with that because I am happy with my writing of late. Really. What I'm most happy about is that I've stopped worrying. I've had this conversation with Saf, that the more you learn, the less you know. I let all this crap fill my head for so long and eat away at my confidence. When I first started writing nearly ten years ago, I knew nothing except the basics. I just wrote. And my stuff was so much more powerful, so much more deep. So now I'm going to forget about what is right and wrong, and just fucking write.


The Bad

Well, I've mentioned my dear sweet daddy-in-law before. He is absolutely the sweetest man, with the best intentions. But damn, he can be annoying. It's because he's bored. I've tried to get him to find a hobby or go to church, but his attention span is like my dog Yasha...non-existent. And his impulse control is much the same way. He always bothers me several times a day, interrupting whatever I'm doing to tell me some inane something. So yesterday, with my husband at home, it was him he bothered. I felt bad for Mark, he only gets one full day off of work a week. And yesterday was it. but his father kept coming over wanting to go to the video store, or take him out to lunch, and Mark just wanted to spend the day sitting on our stoop, drinking beer and hanging out with our dogs---in peace. So I got dinner started early, asked Duane to stay with us and eat, and then deflected his attention from Mark to me so Mark could catch a break. Then after dinner, I made an excuse so Duane would go home and leave us in peace. I know he just wants to spend time with Mark, and Mark knows this as well. But since Mark was a teenager, he's been the head of the family, the one person that everyone comes to talk and for problems, and so I feel Mark should have a day of rest from all the people who pull him twenty different directions.

So last night, after Duane had left, we headed over to our favorite new place across the street. A mexican restaurant where the Dos Equis flows freely. We spent our last several bucks, just had a few beers, munching on chips and salsa, and practicing our Spanish. We had an enjoyable walk home in the cool night air.

The Ugly

Well, the time has come. Sis-in-law is finally gonna be allowed to move her things in her cheatin ass boyfriend's house. She's been living over there for some time now, but since she keeps our third bedroom cluttered with her crap, she pays us money for the storage space. It's been a big help with mark having to work his piddly ass job with little pay. But now, since she's moving her crap, I will have to finally conceed that the time has come to move to a smaller more affordable place. We can no longer continue paying for our spacious townhome. It breaks my heart. With a type-a hyper husband, a teenaged son and two huge rambuncous dogs crammed into a two bedroom, I see dark days ahead. I will also lose what little privacy I have to write. Life sucks.