Well, it's one of my life's great ironies, that the very thing I'm passionate about, is the same thing that makes me sick.

I love food, food, food, and more food. All kinds of food, food that's not good for me, comfort food that satisfies the taste buds and fills the holes inside. My dream is to eat my way across new york city. Oh my, the scrumptous things to be found there, in italian, jamacian, asian, jewish neighborhoods...oh my, oh my.

so it is modern medicine's little irony, that the one drug they give me to make me feel better, makes me ravenous for those things which I should not eat.

Being given prednisone in the hospital is the worst. Usually, I'm only given some sort of liquid diet. So while the hunger knaws at me, and the television plays commercial after commercial filled with pizza's and burgers and ice cream, I can only scarf down little containers of jello, broth and popsicles.

When finally switched to full liquids, I have to tell you, a steaming bowl of cream of mushroom soup never tasted so good.

And if taken to the next step of a solid food, my craving becomes an Arby's Beef and Cheddar...one of the worst things I can have.

But when not in the hospital, the cravings are so much harder to handle. Last night I returned home after a good meal...prednisone coursing through my body. It's been about six years since I've taken this drug, and for the first time since the last time, my mind would not rest to sleep. Food, glorious food kept dancing through my mind, my stomach begging to be filled. The hunger poked at me relentlessly, until finally, at one o'clock in the morning, I'm standing in t-shirt and panties in my kitchen, picking at the food in my fridge.

visions of late night kitchen raids flooded back. I'd stood in that spot many times before, helpless to do anything but eat. Feeling guilty as I hurriedly shoved food in my mouth like a kid afraid to get caught.

and a few pieces of ham with cheese, and several spoonfulls of ice cream from the carton finally satisfied me, medicating my mind and gut for sleep.

I hate this drug!