i'm feeling pretty lazy today, i mean, really, what else is new. lazy is my middle name. i remember the first day of nursing school, the teacher went around the class and asked us to choose a word with the same first letter as our name that described us. the man next to me (who only had half an arm and later became my best friend in the class)stole my word and described himself as lazy lee. well, the only thing left i could do was go for shock value and proclaim i was lusty laurie. shock it did, and i think my bravado sealed my fate with the instructor (who later in the year pulled me into her office and chewed me out saying i was aggressive as opposed to assertive and then continued to make me feel as small as a flea on a dog). ahhh, precious memories.

anyway, today is my sweety's birthday. for exactly one month i'm nine years older than him, but today, i go back to only being eight years older. i never think about the age difference until we play the "remember when" game. "do you remember the series starsky and hutch?" "no, i was only four then" last night we were talking about the hostages in iran, i was in high school and he was in about sixth grade. yeah, it's times like that i feel old.

we went to see hadi and their new place the other night. man, how depressing. it's some crappy apartment complex smack dab on central avenue. their place faces the street, so the traffic whizzes by all day and all night. when we got there, she was sitting in the dark in the room, watching tv. i dare say, mark and i lived in a pretty crappy complex in arkansas and the apartment was much nicer than theirs. however, i will say it has a nice parque floor and their living room couch and loveseat, and bedroom set is much nicer than ours. but the bathroom tile is old and worn and the kitchen is horrid, and it's sooo small.

she was soooo happy to see us. she gave me a hug and spun me around shoving me down on the couch. i feel sorry for her, because ibrahima is out of town all the time. she must be very lonely. there are a few africans, from her country i think, that live there, but it's not a place that is safe to leave after dark. and since neither of them have many possessions at all, ibrahima losing his in the fire, and her not having time to acquire anything here, their place is pretty sparse and empty looking.

when i'd first talked to her on the phone, she asked if she should cook for us. i told her no, i had already planned dinner. it wasn't until we got there, that she said had she cooked for us, she wouldn't have been able to eat with us. i'd forgotten that it's ramadan. around seven, she took the time to break her fast and go pray.

mark had brought the cards so they could play her favorite game. i watched an african movie, "My Father's Love" from nigeria, that was in english. It was about a man who had only one child, a girl of about fifteen years old. he loved his daughter and they had a very strong, loving bond. but he wanted another child and since his wife could not give him anymore children, he takes another wife. the new wife is jealous of his bond with his daughter, and so, pretending to be pregnant, she convinces him he must kill his daughter, and he does. i didn't get to to see the end of it, and maybe next time i go i will. hadi says that is the problem with taking another wife. the second wife is always jealous of the first and the kids from the first. she says that even tho it is accepted in her country(multiple wives) many men don't do it because it does cause such problems.

i say most men can't handle one woman, so what the fuck makes them think they can handle another at the same time?

she told me a story of when she lived in greensboro. a man from her country brought over his two wives. but soon, he met and fell in love with a black american woman. well, the american woman would have nothing of the other wives, so he abandoned both. both the women then found new men who supported them just as well. and soon after he married the american, he had an "accident" and died (there were rumors that the new wife had arranged his death). the old wives got nothing, while the new american wife got all his assests and wealth.

i guess the moral to that story is, don't mess with american women.

well, i guess that's about it for me. my boring life trudges onward. i think we might head to the maya tonight for a few drinks. mark no doubt will wear the birthday sombrero, eat birthday flan, and have happy birthday(feliz cupleanos)sung to him in two languages.

my mother and father might be coming to see us sunday. my cousin is getting married just ninety miles away, but since i have no car, we can't attend. mom and dad are traveling with my aunt and uncle, but because my uncle is driving and mom and dad are just passengers(mom's words), they don't know if my uncle will be willing to drive to charlotte so they can see us. that sounds fucked up doesn't it? but that kind of puts my family experience into perspective for all outsiders. i hope they make it, i'd like to see my parents and the best part being, they won't be staying long.

it's always good to see family, but it's even better when they go home.

well, time to get my lazy ass in gear and do something. what? i don't know, but i feel i should do something.

a great weekend to all!