many of us have been away from js for awhile. admittedly, this is the first time i checked in a long time.

for 2 weeks out of the last 3 i've been sick. at first, the first week, was just some sort of cold that seemed to be going around the complex. but this last week, i've actually been running a fever. that tells me, because my appetite is intact, that it's probably some sort of sinus infection.

however, despite that, i have disengaged from the online world even more because i've been spending time being somewhat domestic.

this is something that should have happened a long time ago. and in fact, i remember a time when i did special artsy things around the house and the not yet hubby loved it. over the years, as money grew tighter, i moved away from it. and then, when i wanted to go back to it, i was kind of hmmm, chastized seems such a strong word. anyway, truth is, i put a lot of effort into the household duties for awhile. then i was taken advantage of, taken for granted. so yeah, i stopped caring so much. admittedly, part of that was my own internal "i'm smarter than this" voice. so mentally and emotionally, i wandered.

however now, without the constant criticism of everything i do or don't do, i am finally caring about my personal surroundings once again. wow, i even bought my first bouquet of fresh flowers in a long long time the other day. i so love fresh flowers. who knew that my personal blue ceramic beer mug from a home town micro-brewery hubby (he also got one) and i got (and also bought as gifts to our best man and maid of honor)would make such a wonderful vase. Looks good, honey.

i have planted my herb garden (only time will tell, about 20 days, we had a hell of a storm right after planting the seeds) I completed my first round of framing and hanging a few photos and one piece of my art (i had to paint the art frame) i will be painting the other photo frames soon, a collage of seven photos which will hang in my living room.

i have my sights on an actual bed. see, one of our neighbors left us an awesome bedframe which hubby started to strip and was going to refinish, but then, work got in the way. of course, he had time for races and softball and texting everyone and their dogs. long story short, he was supposed to save that bedframe for me, but i'm thinking it either went in the trash or he gave it away. so now, i have to find my own bed, as my mattresses still sit on the floor. meanwhile, he has a nice new bedroom suite.

ooo, i'm sounding bitter, shame on me. was not the purpose of this post. because quite frankly, i love it here. still do. still have ups and downs of course. usually more downs than ups but that's life. my life anyway. but we do the best with the hand we're dealt.

i have to say, i think i'm finally snapping out of it. lordy, it only took me 46 years. that in and of itself is suppose to say something about my intellect. you know, the old adage, the longer it takes you to learn, the dumber you are. but i don't look at it that way. i think my over analyzing too often got in the way. i think i've learned not to over analyze. i think i've learned not to second guess myself.

and basically, it does all come down to the golden rule...treat others as you would have them treat yourself. and of course All I Really Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten i read this book a long time ago, right after z was born. unfortunately, i've only just been able to realize its meaning and put it into practice.

hope you all have a happy holiday season. i don't celebrate holidays anymore. they've become a bit too commercial for me. one year all i wanted was for my family (hubby, cc, z and i) to spend time together and i couldn't even get that.

unfortunately for z, as it turns out, i'm the only close family he really has. and yes, part of that is my own fault. admittedly.

nonetheless, everyone enjoy their pagan (oh, some of my peeps do know Christmas is pagan,) commercialized holiday.

oooo, sounding bitter again. i'm really not that bitter. i'm not. live and let live has always been my motto.

oh, forgot to tell jpegmag people, i do have a couple of photos up for votes for the next issue

http://jpgmag.com/people/laohare if you wanna vote.

and...i did the worldwide moment photo...while they still don't have all the photos on either their site or their flickr site...they are having a gallery showing of all the photos in none other than vero beach, southeast gallery of photographic art, through the month of dec. vero beach is about a 45 min to an hour drive from me. i hope to find someone who will take me down there to see the exhibit. my first photo exhibit, although, not really one of my best photos. but pretty cool. yoko ono did a photo for the worldwide moment.