Celebrity sighting: These guys came to my book-signing today in West Chester, PA. Parker behaved beautifully. I wasn't sure if they'd be able to come, but I packed some gifts for Parker and his sister, just in case, and wore a shirt I thought he might like, one covered with silk-screened images of vintage cars. (And dating back to 1991, to continue the theme of "Laura keeps and wears clothes forever.")

It was a good talk, I think, but I didn't delve into the mystery of the expanding pants, which I discussed in Virginia Friday night. Here's the thing. A few weeks back, I gave an interview to the Baltimore Sun about five things I allegedly wanted to buy right now. The list included blue jeans because all my existing pairs were patched. When the article appeared in print, I suddenly felt pretty pathetic. So I checked the label of the pair that fit me best, searched online and ordered two pairs. When I first put them on, they fit perfectly. But, over the course of a day, they expand. I can't keep them up without a belt, they drag on the ground, sag in the behind. I look like a corner kid, circa 1996, except I don't have boxers showing above the waistband.

If anyone could explain this phenomenon to me, I'd appreciate it. The pants are 98 percent cotton, with 2 percent spandex. They're actually rather comfortable, but I look ridiculous.