The man should charge admission. We took the day off to see Chuck Palahniuk in Chapel Hill. I had forgotten about the story. I was puzzled by the Safety Officer. Then he read it. No spoilers here. You need to hear this read.

Why? You see, if it's on paper, you can skim over parts. You can put it down. You don't have to sit there knowing what's going to happen and still listen. You know it's bad. Then there's the buildup to it. You know it's not going to get any better. Then he makes it so vivid that you can picture every detail. Every sordid little detail. It's real. This happened. And the story keeps going. There's no way it's going to have a good ending.

As of around 1-ish today, EDT, the official Fainting Count for this reading (read by Chuck, I think; do they count other readings in this?) is 54. One guy at the reading officially lost conciousness. I was, I am ashamed to admit, nearly number 55. I am *damn* impressed. Have you ever heard of Stephen King getting that kind of reaction? Have you heard of anyone getting that reaction recently at all? I didn't think so. It reminded me of the old horror movies where they advertised having nurses standing by in case someone fainted...only no corny rubber-suited monsters were involved.

The story? "Guts".

Afterward, we went to get some food, then stopped at Ben & Jerry's for some ice cream. Yes, ice cream is food, but this stuff qualifies under Indulgence. I swear, the guy who works there must have to fight off women when he gets off work because of the waffle-cone maker smell. Like burnt sugar, plus. Then we, of course, went to the bookstore. I picked up The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes.

So, I leave you with:

Lavender blue and Rosemary green,

When I am king you shall be queen;

Call up my maids at four o'clock,

Some to the wheel and some to the rock;

Some to make hay and some to shear corn,

And you and I will keep the bed warm.