April 11, 2005
Crazy weekend. Weather was beautiful so we did a lot of outdoors work. Also volunteered Saturday at the kids' school fair. Leanne and I split the shift managing the tic tac toe game, which meant 90 minutes each squatting, bending, leaning and replacing the balls. I was a little sore on Saturday night and we were both damn near paralyzed Sunday morning. Lower back, butt, legs. Must mean we're getting old. And we're both fairly active. Leanne runs and I walk the dog anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour every day, practice karate (obviously not hard enough) and we both try to swim laps once or twice a week now.

Working on rounding up interviews this morning. Woke up thinking about an article I'm working on about marketing your podiatry practice. One health marketing expert noted he didn't think much of the "happy foot" refrigerator magnets because it doesn't put across the idea of a dignified, medical professional. And I mentioned this to one podiatrist and she commented that her mother-in-law thought she should get those because, after all, dentists have "happy tooth" refrigerator magnets. Which made me wonder--what would a proctologist use to market his practice?

Which reminds me of that ad by the National Cancer Foundation promoting screening for colon cancer with all those happy people high-fiving each other in their hospital gowns. Nowhere in the ad does it tell anybody what those people are going to experience, being tested for colon cancer. Do foolish watchers think you pee in a cup? No, folks, it's a colonoscopy. They take a couple feet of garden hose equipped with fiberoptic cable and ram it up your ass. Thank you! No, thank you! Something to look forward to when I turn 50. I've had the signoid and a lower GI, and this doesn't strike me as being the greatest benefit of turning 50. But marketing...

If you think a colonoscopy is a pain in the ass, think about what colon cancer is like!

You're being an asshole if you don't get a regular colonoscopy after the age of 50!

Take it up the ass for your health!

Okay, maybe I'm not meant to be a health copywriter.

Got the big itch to start writing some fiction this weekend. I'd better start working on something instead of waiting for Irene to yeah or nay Serpent. My mental health is at stake. I'll update you later.

Best,
Mark Terry