May 19, 2005
Okay. I signed the contracts for the two novels yesterday and, for me, was pretty close to euphoric. Which, naturally, tends to be followed by a crash in which I doubt my course, whether I'll be able to sell enough books, how hard it is to promote, etc. I'm a regular doubting Thomas in terms of fiction--I need to have the blood on my fingers from the wounds, I guess. I don't think that's rare for a writer. If you are smart and lucky, you will have had the opportunity to read one of Jeff Cohen's funny mysteries, For Whom the Minivan Rolls, and A Farewell to Legs. The main character is a full-time freelance writer, stay-at-home-dad, and yes, that's partly why I identify so closely with the main character, Aaron Tucker (but they're damned funny books, too). In one of them, Aaron notes that upon completing any piece, the freelance writer is unable to believe that he or she will ever work again.

Absolutely. I think often that every day as a freelance writer involves a leap of faith. I'm out of work so regularly (not true. Knock on wood, I've never had nothing to do, but all too often I have only a couple jobs pending and they're not really high-paying ones), a part of the gig is telling yourself, something will come along. Of course, as a freelancer writing for magazines and newspapers, etc., I'm routinely doing 150 or so jobs a year, give or take. With books, you can finish one and think, "Oh God, it'll take me a year to write it and then it won't get picked up and..." well hell, all life on earth will cease to exist, the Republican Party will figure out what that word "compassionate" they've tacked on to "conservatism" actually means, and Adolf Hitler will offer iceskating lessons in hell. It's a bigger and much greater leap of faith as a novelist to imagine--especially, if like me, you have very little evidence to the contrary--to think that yes, you'll be writing novels over and over and over and publishers will be picking them up over and over and over. Continuity and reliability are tenuous things in the fiction biz, and publishers (and probably writers, as well) are fickle business partners. Writers are a dime a dozen, you know, and publisher loyalty may very well be the oxymoron of the industry, though I have nothing to complain about High Country in that regard, and hopefully won't with Llewellyn, either. Let's not get into Write Way or Benoy, that' a subject for a different day.

Is Mark bitchin' about nothing? Maybe. Just following a rollercoaster mood.

Best,
Mark Terry