11 Minutes--A Derek Stillwater Short Story
Mood:
Grinning
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June 14, 2006
I want to thank those of you who read "11 Minutes" and gave me your comments. Dory, still digesting yours, thanks. For anybody out there who's interested, just e-mail me and ask and I'll send you a PDF. I'm still tweaking.
Eric Mayer, who co-writes the fabulous John the Eunuch mystery novels that take place in 5th Century Constantinople, gave me a sample of how he would have written "11 Minutes." Here, you can compare the beginnings:
11 MINUTES
By
Mark Terry
Dr. Derek Stillwater rushed to the security door and pressed his hand against the palm scanner. When it blinked ACCEPT and the door clicked, he pushed his way through. He entered a long gleaming corridor and cut left into the first door, a sign in Korean and English that read: SECURITY CENTER.
“Dr. Stillwater, very good. To the left. Room 3. Mr. Pak Kun is waiting.”
Derek nodded at the woman, swung around the counter and headed for Room 3. He was met by Agent Marion DeKalb, with the Secret Service. Red hair, ruddy complexion, athletic build, heart-shaped face strained with tension. “Some kind of bioterror threat,” she said. “Kun says he’s waiting for you.”
Derek swallowed. His specialty was biological and chemical warfare and terrorism. A troubleshooter for the Department of Homeland Security, he was on loan to the National Intelligence Directorate and the Secret Service to help with Summit security in Seoul, South Korea. There was actually talk about a break in tensions between North and South Korea....
***
How Eric Mayer Would Have Done It
John the Eunuch rushed to the security door and pressed his hand against the intricately etched brass. When the door opened, he pushed his way through. He entered a long gleaming corridor and cut left into the first door, a sign in Latin and Greek that read: THEOLOGICAL CENTER.
“Lord Chamberlain, very good. To the left. Room III. The Patriarch is waiting.”
John nodded at the man, swung around the counter and headed for Room III. He was met by Marius, with the silentiaries. Red hair, ruddy complexion, athletic build, heart-shaped face strained with tension. “Some kind of heretical threat,” he said. “The Patriarch says he’s waiting for you.”
John swallowed. His specialty was diplomacy and palace intrigue. A troubleshooter for the Emperor Justinian, he was on loan to the Patriarchate of Constantinople to help with…
***
Eric, loved your version. Can't wait to read the rest! Anybody else who wants to take a swing at the beginning, I'll post it on my blog.
Best,
Mark Terry
I want to thank those of you who read "11 Minutes" and gave me your comments. Dory, still digesting yours, thanks. For anybody out there who's interested, just e-mail me and ask and I'll send you a PDF. I'm still tweaking.
Eric Mayer, who co-writes the fabulous John the Eunuch mystery novels that take place in 5th Century Constantinople, gave me a sample of how he would have written "11 Minutes." Here, you can compare the beginnings:
11 MINUTES
By
Mark Terry
Dr. Derek Stillwater rushed to the security door and pressed his hand against the palm scanner. When it blinked ACCEPT and the door clicked, he pushed his way through. He entered a long gleaming corridor and cut left into the first door, a sign in Korean and English that read: SECURITY CENTER.
“Dr. Stillwater, very good. To the left. Room 3. Mr. Pak Kun is waiting.”
Derek nodded at the woman, swung around the counter and headed for Room 3. He was met by Agent Marion DeKalb, with the Secret Service. Red hair, ruddy complexion, athletic build, heart-shaped face strained with tension. “Some kind of bioterror threat,” she said. “Kun says he’s waiting for you.”
Derek swallowed. His specialty was biological and chemical warfare and terrorism. A troubleshooter for the Department of Homeland Security, he was on loan to the National Intelligence Directorate and the Secret Service to help with Summit security in Seoul, South Korea. There was actually talk about a break in tensions between North and South Korea....
***
How Eric Mayer Would Have Done It
John the Eunuch rushed to the security door and pressed his hand against the intricately etched brass. When the door opened, he pushed his way through. He entered a long gleaming corridor and cut left into the first door, a sign in Latin and Greek that read: THEOLOGICAL CENTER.
“Lord Chamberlain, very good. To the left. Room III. The Patriarch is waiting.”
John nodded at the man, swung around the counter and headed for Room III. He was met by Marius, with the silentiaries. Red hair, ruddy complexion, athletic build, heart-shaped face strained with tension. “Some kind of heretical threat,” he said. “The Patriarch says he’s waiting for you.”
John swallowed. His specialty was diplomacy and palace intrigue. A troubleshooter for the Emperor Justinian, he was on loan to the Patriarchate of Constantinople to help with…
***
Eric, loved your version. Can't wait to read the rest! Anybody else who wants to take a swing at the beginning, I'll post it on my blog.
Best,
Mark Terry
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