This Writing Life--Mark Terry
Thoughts From A Professional Writer


Dave Burton's "11 Minutes"
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June 15, 2006
As promised...

Dave Burton turned in an opener to "11 Minutes." I like it. Here it is:

I fell nose-first into the door. My flailing hand chanced upon the palm scanner and it opened, sending me sprawling. I got to my feet and stumbled down a hellishly long hall, wiping blood from my face. I stopped at a door displaying the Security Centre’s smiling “Safe & Key” insignia.

“Dr. Stillwater. Please take the door to the left, room three. And don’t bleed on Mr Pak Kun’s carpet.”

I nodded my thanks to the receptionist, dripping blood. I rounded the corner and wiped my face on the bottom of my shirt before hiding it.

Secret Service’s only fit ginger agent, Marion DeKalb, bounced off the wall and opened the door. “Where you been?” she said. “You know this is a chemical warfare-based bio-terror threat?”

“Of course,” I mumbled, testing my nose. “It’s my field of expertise. I just need a moment.”

“We don’t have it,” she said, stepping in front of me. “You might be some big-shot trouble-shooter from Homeland Security, but you’re on loan here at Seoul’s National Intelligence, and you’ll find we’re professional. You fuck up this break in tension between the north and south you’ll be home with your dick in your beer before you can trip over your foot again.” She smirked and stepped aside.

I rolled my eyes, forced back my shoulders and moved past her, accidentally squishing her foot under mine...


Thanks Dave! I think you're from the UK, and some of your spellings suggest that--as does some of your expressions--but I like that. Derek's more of a neurotic wreck than a bumbling wreck, but hey, that's fun.

Best,
Mark


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