There is a new study out and some in the news media have been touting it as proof that sexually explicit music may cause early teen sexual activity.

I’m cautious about this. There is certainly a lot of sexual content in music, music videos, etc. that I am uncomfortable with. There is a kind of dehumanized sexuality presented in a lot of entertainment that I don’t like. It suggests that sex is a pleasure that you take with no commitment to the other person and very little regard for his/her feelings. But I’m anxious about the calls for mass censorship that may come in reaction to the study. I understand the drive, but I think this approach would be worse than useless.

I was a teen in the 1970’s when several studies made similar claims about violence on cartoons and television programs causing violent crime among young people. I was, and am, a peaceful person but enjoyed such violent entertainment as comic book superheroes, westerns, and (that worst of all offenders) Bugs Bunny. It upset me terribly to think that these could be responsible for teen violence.

It wasn’t until many years later that I heard a critique of these studies that made a great deal of sense. A sociologist interviewed on NPR’s “Fresh Air” program said that the studies showing a link between violent TV (by that point video games were included in the studies) and acts of violence used a flawed methodology to reach their conclusions. They showed that kids involved in violence had a much higher exposure to violent TV and games than others, but they didn’t show a cause and effect relationship.

He suggested that there were a number of other factors such as living in an unsafe neighborhood, physical or emotional abuse at home, a chaotic family situation, etc. that led to violent behavior. Those same factors were probably what attracted the kids to violent TV and video games.

I suspect that the same thing may be true here. Kids who are likely to become sexually active early because of a number of factors may also be more attracted to the explicit music and entertainment, but that doesn’t mean the music is causing the sexual activity.

I have not found an on-line copy of the report, which was published in Pediatrics, April 2006; vol 117: pp 1018-1027 but a related news article can be found at http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/03/health/webmd/main1464262.shtml

A more significant finding of the study is that parents have a big influence on their kids’ sexual activity. If parents are up-front about the limits they are setting, they can be the single biggest factor influencing their children’s sexual behavior (and their use of drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and involvement in other risky behavior). In terms of producing good results, involved parents (especially with the help of caring relatives, friends, teachers, clergy, etc.) beat censorship campaigns hands down.

While I doubt that explicit music causes sexual activity, I understand parents’ unease with it on general principals. I’m not a parent but if I were I would be very anxious about the sexual content, hate rhetoric, and some other elements found in many songs. For what it’s worth here are my thoughts…

1) BE AWARE: Talk to your kids about what they’re listening to. This means taking some effort to find out about the bands, the songs, the videos, etc. Reading the lyrics is an excellent idea and there are a number of engines on-line (www.lyrics.com is only one of many) that can make you aware of what is being said. There are a lot of slang words and phrases, but there are also a growing number of slang dictionaries on-line to help you with them.

2) BE CONSISTENT: Set some rules for content that make sense to you and your children. (They don’t have to agree, but it makes a big difference if they understand your reasoning behind the rules.)

3) BE FAIR: Rules like “no hip-hop” are so general that kids will see the unfairness in them. Try not to ban a band because of one objectionable song, or a genre because of a number of objectionable bands. Rap, Metal, Grunge, Techno and all the rest are neither good nor bad by themselves. It’s what individual artists do with them that counts.

4) BE GENEROUS: If you can’t stand the sound of a band/song/style but don’t have a serious objection to the content it’s probably best to allow it. No generation really likes their childrens’ (or their parents’) music. I always try to err on the side of tolerance.

5) TALK! Rules are fine, to a point, but what kids really need are parents who care enough to communicate. Talking about what you like or don’t like in their songs is a great entry into conversations about racism, tolerance, drugs, violence, love and intimacy, and a lot more. They need your guidance and value your ideas on all these topics. Plus you may find that your kids and their music may open your eyes to some things. There are some bright, committed people writing songs and many of them sneak in some terrific ideas on everything from relationships to social justice, to issues of faith.

Rules can be helpful, but relationships are what really make the difference in people’s lives.