There is one more set of scriptures that gets called up in the discussion on homosexuality. They bear on the matter in a more indirect way. Genesis 2:18-24 says…

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’ So out of the ground the Lord God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
‘This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
for out of Man this one was taken.’
Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (New Revised Standard Version)

The words of Jesus in Mark 10:6-9 repeat this idea. This passage is repeated essentially unchanged in Matthew 19:4-6. As Mark puts it, it says…

“…from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NRSV)

Both of these passages suggest that the marriage of a man and a woman is special and sacred. Many commentators extend this to say that the marriage of a man to a woman is a part of God’s plan that began in creation. In modern America some Christian groups have extended this even farther to suggest that God’s plan for marriage as revealed in scripture calls for the union of one man to one woman. No other model of marriage or (implicitly) of sexuality is any part of God’s plan.

The slogan that I hear repeated connected to these arguments is: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

I have been married to a wonderful woman (just one) for 17 years and I am a big fan of the one man plus one woman model of marriage. I have also discovered a sense of completeness with her in my life that I never had when I was single. I believe that what is true for me is true in a general way for all humanity. It is in relationships with others that our humanity is most fully realized. I also believe that male and female need each other, and not just for biological survival. We are different and our differences compliment each other in wonderful ways.

That probably sounds as if I agree with the people who say that same sex unions are unnatural and wrong, but I don’t.

The fact that one type of relationship is given special praise doesn’t really tell you anything about a different type of relationship. That’s simply not a logical assumption. If I praise the relationship of two brothers it doesn’t follow that I am denigrating the relationship between a brother and a sister, or between two sisters, or the life of an only child. Giving special praise to a mother doesn’t imply a slight against fatherhood, or against grandparents. All of these relationships are special in their own ways. They are different, but it doesn’t logically follow that ‘different’ equates to ‘wrong’ or even to ‘less.’

The logic obviously doesn’t work in these biological family relationships. I don’t understand why it should apply to couples in a way it wouldn’t apply to any of these other relationships I’ve mentioned.

I heard a clergyman from another tradition speaking on gay unions some time back. He said that he knew there were gay couples who were as loving and as serious about their relationships as married heterosexual couples. Nevertheless, he felt obliged to condemn same sex unions. If he didn’t, he feared that he would lose his power to speak out against any form of sexual relationship. He specifically mentioned pedophilia and polygamy.

This seems to me another case of twisted logic. A gay or lesbian union occurs when two people are in love and want to commit their lives to each other. Pedophilia is a form of rape that comes about when someone decides to sexually molest a child. The two have nothing in common and it is illogical to connect them. Worse, it is slanderous and bears false witness against an innocent group of people. The mental health community and the FBI’s crime statistics clearly demonstrate that the vast majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. The old myth that pedophiles are gay and gay men are pedophiles is simply not true and should be discarded forever.

Polygamy is something that has been rejected in most parts of the modern world but was once practiced almost universally. Polygamy is common in the Bible, and is never condemned. The reason the modern world has turned away from it is that our attitudes about women have changed. For the most part, polygamy existed in cultures where women were treated like property and marriages were arranged by their fathers. We no longer accept this. For us, a woman’s right to choose her husband is very important. We recognize any system that strips her of this right, or of the right to remain unmarried, as unjust.

But there is no such justice problem in gay unions. These are relationships in which people love each other and want to express their commitment. They are much more like interracial marriages in recent American history where committed couples were told that their relationships couldn’t be recognized by the government because they were “unnatural” and “ungodly.” Scriptures were quoted (out of context of course) to condemn those unions too just as scripture is so often misused to condemn homosexuals today.

The problem with quoting the Bible to condemn a group of people is that isn’t what it was written for. There are passages that do condemn specific groups who are considered enemies of Israel (like the Canaanites), or who are ‘religiously impure’ (like the Samaritans). These biblical condemnations are fierce and direct, but they can’t be taken by themselves. For each condemnation, there are other scriptures showing grace towards people in the condemned group.

The story of the Good Samaritan is a good example of the way Jesus turned the prejudiced attitudes of his time around on people. In the New Testament period Samaritans were viewed with the same sort of contempt that so many attach to homosexuals today. They were considered morally and spiritually unclean. ‘Righteous’ people didn’t want to associate with them.

In Jesus’ story, two ‘righteous’ and religiously ‘clean’ men leave a crime victim bleeding on the side of the road. It is the detested Samaritan who shows the man compassion. The person who society considered ‘unclean’ is closer to God than the ‘righteous’ but uncaring worshippers. The outcast is lifted up as the model of behavior that is faithful to God. Jesus ends the story with the command, “…go and do likewise.”

A number of years back I learned of gay volunteers who had started working as volunteers caring for babies born with HIV in New York City hospitals. The parallel with the Good Samaritan leaped into my mind right away. Men and women who society was quick to condemn were helping a group who so many people were frightened even to touch. The story taught me something about courage and compassion.

In the end, I sincerely believe that we aren’t judged for who we love, but for how we love. Jesus taught that the two greatest commandments are to love God, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. If “Adam and Steve” can love each other and the people around them with this kind of faith and compassion, I’m not just happy to accept them. More than that, I’m ready to learn from them, just as I would from the Good Samaritan.