I've just arrived home at 11:07 p.m. from a long day at the office and on the road (well, 4 hours spent at the office, another 6 hours at school, one hour in transit on my bicycle dodging some crazies out in the street). I enter the house and see a few cardboard box bottoms akimbo on the floor. A long receipt is laying on the dining room table with a telltale highlighter mark down the middle of it.

Yes, it is evidence that someone was at Costco today, purchasing things that are of large volumes and require vast storage space in a house where that kind of real estate is already scarce.

I enter the kitchen, knowing that I may very well find storehouses of dried fruit medley mix, a sleeve of tuna cans, or an industrial sized vat of Tide with Downy. Oh, the abundance! However, all I see are oversize boxes stacked on the parquet kitchen floor. I inspect the boxes. To my sheer delight tinged with unexplainable fear, I find they are filled with tools and devices that will bring forth what will be remembered as a very special Thanksgiving occasion.

Inventory. Stat.
1. Large box with a cocktail making set, including that cool thing with the spiral spring that you strain drinks with. I can't wait. I have a Sidecar in mind. Damn, where's the Christian Bros.?
2. Large box with illustrations: 32 quart, all stainless steel turkey fryer unit. With "grab hook". This thing is a little frightening. Although, I remain intrigued.
3. Large box. 35 pesos de aceite de cacahuate. That's 35 pounds of peanut oil, folks. 35. A force to be reckoned with. It has a high smoking point, a characteristic that any foodie knows is important when deep frying a large mass of poultry.
4. Some wine.

My next step was to open the wine. To which I needed permission from my roommmate, which was granted with little, if no, delay. I ask her what is up with the pending feast and I am told the following: "We will have a duel of fried turkey vs. turducken. It will be grand."

So what are you poor schmucks doing on your Thanksgivings? Seriously, do not even try to top this.