Lynn has read and reviewed, and the result is overall a good thing. Now I'm just waiting to see what Jo-Ann says before I look at a rewrite.

And, I figured I throw out a few of the comments just to put down for posterity the kinds of things looked at in a spec script for an existing TV show. While it might be a bit out there if you haven't read the script, it gives an idea of what the pros are looking at when they read the paper that comes over the slushpile. Do I agree with all of it? Not sure yet -- I need to reread the script. There's definitely a few things I'm going to change, because the better the script is, the better I and my agent look. Enjoy!

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-- Good Act II out (meaning the end of act II, just before the commercial, would keep people watching). Great line of dialog right there with just the right amount of punch.

-- Jordan's a bit wordy in her first bit of dialog, she could be more direct and blunt.

-- There's not enough for Garret to do

-- The A (main) story and the B (sub-plot) stories could probably overlap or resonate a bit more with each other.

-- There might be too much Woody and not enough Jordan.

-- Take out a few words. EG: People generally don't call each other by their names.

-- The act one out needs a bit more power and force to push Jordan into more of a snit before she reaches the emotional point to blow up.

-- Nigel's voice is spot-on.

-- Many good Jordan, Lily and Nigel lines.

-- The Lily scene with the kids was wonderful.

-- Need a beat of emotional action in the scene with Garret & Lily in his office

-- A specific piece of dialog was too on the nose (the character was too obvious & blunt)

-- Loved Nigel's speech to the kid.