An inquiry came to me from a list I'm on, made by a well-established TV writer/producer. He's looking for research on a particular topic by mid-week to help him come up with pitches. And he offered to pay a nice chunk of money for it.

I used to do library research in my former life, so this is one of the few requests that I can actually provide help. (Most other requests are for grips, sound people, locations, free this, free that, et cetera.) Cool! I can contribute! It didn't take me long to give him what it sounds like he needed.

I'd be willing to do this kind of short-term, general lookup for a favor for someone I know, since it's an easy skill for me. I certainly don't need his money, and part of the genesis of this list is for people to help people.

But as I was researching, the hope kept cropping up that by helping him out, maybe he'll be willing to take a call or a meeting or a pitch from me.

It's the kind of insidious thought that makes me feel a little cheapened from the nice person that I always want to be, that I want my daughter to see me being. Straightforward, uncomplicated, and genuine. I feel like I'm doing this person a favor not because of who I am but because of who he is.

Should he offer to send me a check, I'll probably just ask him for permission to ask his advice on Spacetime as I get it ready for SciFi. That's much more valuable to me that money at this point. If he doesn't want that kind of commitment, then I say good luck with your pitches and that's that.

Thing is, if our roles were reversed I wouldn't give it two second's thought. If someone helped me out, I'd certainly try to help them out.

A lot of people will find this silly, I'm sure. But for me, it's a small part of me that's been changed because I'm trying to get into the biz.