I'm in to work today for some holiday overtime, but I've finished my allotment of work. I could ask for more, but why when I could waste some time writing into the ether?

I don't really feel like dealing with stuff that needs to be dealt with - bills, shopping, travel plans, etc - so I will just have to fill my time with somewhat unimportant observations and thoughts on the world. I also don't feel like going into my politics right now. I love observing politics at work and discussing the subject with friends, but right now I don't feel like it. Not that it matters, I could complain as much as I like but nothing is going to stop The MAN from stripping away more civil liberties from us all.

But I thought I'd mention that I was listening a little earlier to a documentary on NPR called a "Sense of Place." For the most part it didn't really grab my attention but I found it interesting when part of it was talking to these residents of an old-folks home called "Sunset House." (I think.) These people are, more often than not, aged activists and agitators for socialist and left-leaning political programs. They're rather old - mostly in the nineties and remember when it was actually possible to be a socialist or even a Communist and an American at the same time. They are happy to call themselves liberal and wonder when exactly it became a bad word. I grinned listening to them eventhough I felt kinda sad at how in lots of ways their political affiliations won't keep their bodies from deteriorating and won't keep young kids from dismissing them as ancient crackpots.

I suppose when one investigates the extremes of both left and right wing politics one will most likely understand and accept why most of America has become centered (politically) in her agenda. But right down the middle has always seemed to lack a certain amount of life, energy and spirit to me and I wonder if the middle will be able to sustain the gains that the society has made through the struggles of the left and right.

If you haven't guessed I lean pretty well to the left, but I try to stay rooted in reality and so have to figure that just because I like it doesn't mean everyone will like leftist policies and thus won't support them. But that doesn't mean that policy makers shouldn't take chances in supporting or opposing bills that might not find favor in the masses. Sometimes the masses *really* don't know what is good for them.

So. I wonder, I have a yummy cup of coffee from Starbucks on my left and leftovers from my lunch of Thanksgiving leftovers on my right, and I wonder, where does this place me? I do not make policy and I do not (to date) agitate for or against anything. I support the grand evil mechanisms of the global market by buying coffee at Starbucks, which on the one hand, easily buys coffee for 12 cents a kilo and will sell that to me for approximately $24, and on the other hand is the only corporation (that I know of) that will participate in the Fair Trade system (that kilo will be bought directly from farmers at about about $12). I, like _way_ too many Americans, am overweight (this is a constant battle, the details of which may show up in another entry) so what do I need with extra food? Certainly, what do I need with a meal meant to gorge myself? It's been several years since I've had to struggle to be able to eat at least once a day and even then it was self-imposed. So where am I going with this?

Glad you asked, cause I was beginning to forget. I'll back up a little bit. I started listening to KCRW's broadcasts of NPR about two years ago and was always pleased with what seemed like thorough coverage of news from every corner of the globe. But I noticed that since 9/11 they've dedicated a whole lot of time to asking just about everyone about their feelings on the US's campaign against terrorism, the Taliban, al'Qaida etc, etc, ad nauseum. And I mean everyone, twentysomethings in a Berkley coffee house, Turkish men at market, some elderly people in a Japanese convalescent home, a multi generational household in their Tennesee home, Pakistanis, Brits, Mexicans, South Africans, Russians, French, Germans, Chinese.... And I keep thinking, but their opinions don't really matter all that much. Well some do more than others. And to be absolutely honest, I keep wondering when NPR is going to ask for my thoughts on the matter.

Of course I have tons of thoughts on the matter, and they constantly change with the weather and every bit of news, and that's not what this entry is about, anyway. I had gotten to thinking a long time ago that with the Internet the world was getting smaller because everyone felt like they could speak out and have their voice heard. Well I work for a search engine, and let me tell you, there are plenty of folks who really should not be allowed to speak. Not until they get a mastery of their own language, first. But as this war of ours has progressed and I've heard more and more thoughts and opinions from people who deride America and American's for not understanding them and "doing it all wrong," I've come to the conclusion that it's not a result of the Internet that has caused people to think that not only should they make people listen to their thoughts, but that their thoughts are better than anyone else's.

I've granted myself the priviledge of commiting these same sins of self-centered-ness here. It's pretty simple, this Journal was created expressly for this use, writing down thoughts and ideas and leaving them here. Not inflicting them on anyone who doesn't want them. I'm good with that.

To sum up: It honestly doesn't matter one bit what my opinion is. It doesn't matter what my stance is here or there. In all practicality, I *can* be against Starbucks and still drink their coffee. That's how much my opinion and actions matter on a global scale. But I guess it's the bettering of the self that is at stake here. To speak and act honorably it is expected that one will suit one's actions to one's words and never deviate in any way that may cause one's motives to come into question. In any way that we choose to live we should act as if our actions and words do matter to the world at large. When we have an image of ourselves in our minds and we persue that unrelentingly we let go of our weaknesses and flaws of character. We let go of our flawed human hearts and passions and in the end become more... human.

The Greeks thought this was very nifty. Other cultures would agree with that except that most of them try to tell the individual what his mental image of himself should be. Confucious, Jesus, the Prophet, any of a number of gods or prosperous men....They are all worthy goals, I suppose, but I really wonder if any of them would have much to say about the troubles abroad, trouble that has little to do with them and the way their live their lives.

Not a single one of us. Not a single American, from me to you to G.W. Bush can do a *SINGLE* thing that will cause any one to like America more. So why is everyone still wasting their time trying to find out what other people think about military actions or mobilization against terrorism? There is an extent to which I want to know what people think so that I might understand them, but what is there to understand in hatred?

The news has picked up on one thing though - A lot of moslems have been quick to point out, regardless of whether they agree with him or not, that Osama bin Laden considers himself to be a holy warrior and has surrounded himself with men who consider themselves God's chosen fighters. They know what their mental picture is and they've persued it relentlessly.