I feel kinda crappy and I know exactly why, but I get even more irritated at my own inability to fucking get over it.

The Game has had me a little bit frustrated over the past week but I'm not really as mad about it as I was earlier in the week. All of my responsibilities are done now. They wouldn't have been otherwise. But I still don't see why I shouldn't have been upset. No one *meant* to slight me or my chapter, however I still *feel* slighted, and insulted on behalf of my chapter. I have that right to my feelings and opinions.

I also have the right to write whatever I wish in my journal, even if it's idly daydreaming about things I don't actually have the right to DO. I have to right to expect that my journal is my own private domain and anyone who reads it understands that he or she is a guest here and while he/she is priviledged to know what I have to say, he or she should take no liberties in calling me on what I say or think in my Journal. It's one thing to use an entry I write as a springboard for a conversation, it's something else *entirely* to accuse me of something based on my emotions and personal reaction.

But that's not really what's bothering me either.

What's been bothering me lately, and I totally blame work for this, is that I have to work really freaking hard, long hours staring at my computer when I would very nearly like to be doing anything else, delivering pizzas, lugging boxes, don't care. But this pays better, so here I am staring at Web sites day in and day out.

The trouble with working this hard is my boyfriend. I'm stressed out and annoyed by everything and he takes a lighthearted approach to everything, which, when I'm sleep deprived, stressed, overworked and underrewarded really grates on me.

I don't want to pick on him, and for heaven's sake it's not like I can be mad at him when he earns a salary so he can work six hours or ten hours, get paid the same and get the same kudos so long as the job gets done well. But it's so VERY frustrating to hear that he got into work after I did, and waltzes out before I get to. But that's not right, or fair, to say. There is no waltzing involved, his job is really tough and quite demanding so any breaks he gets are earned.

But it's still annoying.

Mandatory overtime is a vexing situation because the higher-ups refuse to put a time structure on how long we will be required to put in this OT. That makes us really, REALLY not give a shit about the work we're supposed to be doing eventhough we hardly have anything to complain about. But at least I earn a wage and thus get paid at time and a half for my OT.

*sigh* He tries to make me feel better, he really does but sometimes I just feel like being cranky. I try not to direct any of it at him, especially when we talk, but it's really hard to avoid. I suppose I could fake being cheerful when one minute he is unhappy that I can't have lunch with him in Long Beach on Monday because I'll be here working my OT, and then the next minute he is blithe about sleeping in this morning and then going to his apartment to spend quality time with Wizardry 8 cause he just didn't feel like coming up here (Pasadena) for lunch, but again it's kinda tough.

I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. I realize that this is a dumb arguement, but it's bugging me.

ffft tomorrow I'll be pretending to be a werewolf and MOnday I'll be back here at work.

But I have a highlight for this weekend already: I only had two players last night (had three people who couldn't make Friday night, who were looking forward to Mage on Saturday night), and they were the usual two players. Historically, they haven't been able to get along long enough to play but last night something switched and they had a great time just hanging out! I was so stunned! I really hope the good will lasts.