I haven't had much time for journal writing, or anything much else that involves personal use of the Web. }:P

I still really don't have time but it's Friday night so few people are going to notice.

several things have been on my mind that I thought I'd write about but I sorta let them stew too long and the whole things kinda got messed up. This is why I'm bad at Journaling. And it's also why I'm bad a chess. I don't exactly think about things too *much* but I do think about them too *long.*

in no particular order some of the thoughts include

even further frustration with our president.

even further frustration with myself.

I need to write to The Waitress, but I'm nervous. what a punk...

people are quitting the Game over the switch. At first I didn't care but now people I *like* are quitting. blech

I'm behind on my bills. dang it I was doing so well...

I need to find a good resource for writing cover letters, I don't think I'm very good at them (especially since I don't know what one should say.)

work is being more annoying. We've been told that our business hours are going from core hours of nine am to three thirty pm (in no later than nine, out not earlier than three thirty pm). Lessee when I started I had to be in no later than ten and do all the work that was assigned and then leave whenever. AT the time it sucked cause I didn't know how to do eight hours of work in any less than ten. But then we changed to core hours of ten to four with an hourly wage. I got better and *then* started to finish my work within six- seven hours. arg. but in April we're going to nine am to six pm. everyone. New corporate hours. I wonder if that will go with a new corporate dress code?

I've been listening to Tori these past two days. Before that I was listening to a lot of Tool practically non-stop but I kinda got tired of it wondered over to listen to Boys for Pele. I let the whole thing play and let it move onto Choirgirl.... I occasionally forget what a wonder Tori is. Someday I mean to write more fully about my thoughts on her music, but, being music, a lot of it defies words. But I'll do my best.

I watched ladies skating finals last night so I saw Sarah Hughes skate absolutely perfectly. I'm happy that there was a Russian on the podium but I was shocked and kinda surprised at feeling bad when Michele Kwan fell. Although now the Russians are being silly...demanding a co-gold for Irina (I forget her last name and I probably couldn't spell it anyway). But little Ms Hughes was pretty astounding...she obviously went out and threw away all of her cares and just did it for love of dancing and the adoration of the crowd. I liked it. }:>

Over the past couple of days my emotions have been a slight roller coaster. I'm not quite sure why. Yesterday the first half was really zen and happy and then I heard about Daniel Pearl and about new work stuff and I just...I dunno got mad. I mean I'm sad for Mrs Pearl, and I'm frustrated with the idiots who like their guns better than their own reason, but I felt myself growing more angry as my fancy turned from getting angry with a few men who bit off *WAY* more than they could chew. Driving, I was alone in my head and I was wishing I could get enough attention that I could really get on my soapbox and just shout down the system. Yeah Middle Eastern countries have a lot of fanatics and they have enough anarchy and money floating around that the fanatics can actually do something insane like kidnap a journalist and actually think that that would give them some leverage. But I was getting pissed, well I've been constantly angry about this but yesterday I was shouting in my car, at just the overwhelming stupidness of our history of foreign policy. Didn't those fools ever play chess? more importantly, didn't they ever set up dominos and knock them over to see them fall in a line? It took the marines 30 years to come up with a word for it. Blowback. It's actually called backlash, but Blowback includes the backlash that has been modified and augmented by international politics.

George W Bush is of average intelligence. I can't tell you how much this frightens me. It's easier to think of him as a moron, a fool with an empty head and a ton of charm. Had he been a woman (and, I guess by necessity, a beautiful one) he would have been voted Homecoming Queen. I'm so embarrassed that he is my president. I'm so embarrased that people in foreign countries look at him as the American of Americans.

But so I was driving and think and being mad. But my focus slid onto other things and just thought about other stuff...Molasses and some of his irritating picadillos, being hungry, fasting, the Church hiding criminal priests, Rabbit and her kid, the Waitress, Talula and Stupid Piece of Shit (not his real name).

So anyway I got to Molasses' in a foul mood and I didn't want to be, but I didn't really have an easy way out. So I took an hours' nap and left the boy on his own. We went and got some food and watched TV with our dinner. I was feeling better after that and he turned to me and remarked on it, asking if I was in a bad mood because my blood-sugar was low. WTF?

*shakes head* that's Molasses for you.

I've been thinking over a few more esoteric things having to do with reality. Sorta. yikes... now I'm outa time. But I still wish I could know what the world would be like if I could float about in it, incorporeal, watching things and not being watched back....eh.. later, later.

I got me some horses to ride on to ride on
They say that your demons can't go there
So I got me some horses to ride on to ride on
as long as your army keeps perfectly still
Horses
Tori Amos

(quick aside: oh my god!! I just heard a commercial House Republicans are airing in South Dakota that is so hateful against Tom Daschele that I started giggling. Strap yourselves in, kids, the races ahve begun.)