I was very busy this weekend and it's left me very tired.

I had fun through most of it, and also spent some time irritated at others.

But mostly I'm grieving. It's no one's business but my own and that of my family.

Typically I don't feel like sharing stuff like this except with my closest friends. But I want to write down the experience to remember it.

but maybe it's too soon.

It still hurts to remember my father's hurt face as he rushed back into the house with a hasty, shakey "Excuse me."

The taste of metal is fresh in my mouth as I focused onto my aunt's immediately previous words, and the soft spot over my heart is still tender from the sledge hammer's blow those words gave.

My throat catches and my stomach churns to remember the silent, absent looks on my brothers' faces as they went deep down to try to understand and my sister weeping openly.

no. It's still too early, yet.