Odd things are bothering me, that aren't actually even occuring today. That's actually pretty annoying all by itself. I'm minding my own business trying to stick to my work and keep my mind focussed (not terribly easy as I'm still slightly ill). But little unwanted memories come bubbling up of things people do, little comments or attitudes or other slights I feel that I've tried throw away over time and it's threatening to drag down my mood into the dumps.

it's hard to sort out the thoughts too, they're all interwoven and more than a little silly. Or rather, they're the sort that is nearly embarassing to admit to being annoyed by. Peeves I guess.

The thing is I get peeved easily so I try really hard to just let people do their own thing, at least for my own health.

But over time some things have gone instead from the land of forgotten slights to a chip on my shoulder that been growing in strength for as long as I can remember.

The only thing I can point to being spurred today is the grammar, spelling and punctuation on other people's journals. I don't follow perfect sentance structure, this is true and I've been known to make a few typos but it sometimes bugs me when I get the feeling that people that I know - grown people with college educations - didn't go back and proof read their work. Clearly I'm more picky than necessary, but come on people, I'm an editor. I've been trained to catch this stuff. Help me out here, ok?

So um... what's on my mind? that's a fucking good question. I wish I knew.

Hmm going off about LA-hate is kinda old. Not that people who love to hate LA ever get tired of their shit. fuckin annoying though. When they find cool shit here they never say "LA is cool!" It's only "LA sucks!" when something goes wrong in their happy unconfrontational little lives. whatever

There's this Cam list I've been trying to get on since June of last year and the Mod_mod isn't even answering me. Blah. I need to recruit someone to whine for me.

I'm fairly protective of things Latin or otherwise arising from La Raza. It seems like a no-brainer to me. For my whole life it has been a subtle categorization that I've witnessed going on that files brown skin and Spanish-speaking as lesser. It's not PC to be bigotted and that is a very good thing, but people still rationalize or blind themselves to the racism with which they approach the world. This includes myself and all of my friends.

I don't really have the time, or really the desire to expound on the above at this time so I'll move on.

......

Someone tell me why I can't convince myself to do the "normal" human things. What is so very wrong with having kids or getting married and owning a home? I'll try really hard not to argue. I just can't seem to make myself even remotely want those things in my life.

I miss working myself so hard (or really, just hard enough) that I could lay down on the floor and feel inner movement.

I like bananas; I want a banana. And maybe a pbj.
God, and a glass of milk.

Money sucks, especially when I have just barely enough to force ends to meet and no more. So I have to wait until Thursday to get Scarlett's Walk. *sigh* Also makes it so I can't go and get a decent cup of coffee or replenish my snack bars. Here's hoping the gas in my car lasts.

Art...art... I miss art. At least the people I regularly surround myself with understand I have my work cut out before me. Enough people out there believe that since art is a luxury for them so it should be with me. Uh-huh. And 80% percent of Americans believe they could (or would like to, I forget) write a novel while a comparable percentage read less than one book a year. But our schooling is skewed that way. Art lessons are considered a waste of time and are squeezed into the sleepy zone between lunch and PE. And then there are the weird critical thinking exercises - You're on a ship that's going down, there's one liferaft left with room for four. There are five people who want on - you, a sailor, a pregnant woman, a doctor and an artist/writer/musician - who should be left behind? I remember classes always voted for ditching the artist. No one ever went for drowning himself.

It's funny how a freakish little fringe group who were just too stiff and boring to even get along in England could so thoroughly influence one of the most progressive states this planet has ever seen. Damned Puritans.