My whole life I've been the one that stuck out. I stick out of my family, I stick out of my hometown, I stick out of my race, I stick out of my gender, I stick out of my religion.


It's fucking annoying because I don't think I truly do.


Or at least I didn't.



But I've come to the conclusion that my only position regarding the usurption of symbols that are important to me is one of irritation. Clearly I can't do anything about because I'm out-numbered by the people that I disagree with the most.

I wanted to put a flag on my car after 9/11, I really did, but far to quickly that was taken to indicate right-wing xenophobia and religious intolerance. Too quickly it would become interpreted as a stand in for my political beliefs. Old Glory would mean wholesale support for the current presidential administration and a burning desire to "get them what done this to us." In short it became the symbol of every short-sighted slur against the stereotypical ugly American.


Now I get to listen Christian activists give the rest of us a bad name.

I used to wear a cross on cord around my neck. It was hematite and the cord was black, I had it blessed by a priest after I bought it the Mission of San Diego. People would occasionally get weird looks on their faces when they spied it. I got balled out at coffee shop one time by a white man who practised Hinduism (because it's the oldest religion on earth, don't you know), I've had Catholics smirk and ask why I would wear a cross and not a crucifix (a cross with the body of Christ hanging from it), and been admonished by other Christians because they wear their crosses because they believe and clearly I don't (I have no idea where that one came from).

I've observed various forms of Christian bashing for pretty much all of my life and I've never taken it personally. I've been walking down the street minidng my own business and been acosted by holy rollers asking if I've accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I've been yelled at to Smile! Jesus loves me! and those of you who know me know that I don't like being approached by strangers, especially the hyper ones.

So I figure if I weren't a Christian I'd be mildly annoyed by them too.


But it's just getting to such a high pitch these days that...gah.. I dunno. It's making me batty.


NPR ran some audio recordings of the various groups gathered in Boston to advocate one side or the other on gay marriage. One snippet was a woman praying a "Hail Mary." there was no explanation, no interview, no introduction. So we, the listners, were left to assume that the woman was invoking Mary, and thereby the power of God, to work in her favor over the state legislature.

Now raise your hand if you believe the woman was praying for gay marriage?



Hm. Not a one of you.



I wonder why that is.


I wish I knew how to make it clear to people that that's not us. That those of us who have thought it through have been just as likely to pray for justice and an even-handed approach.



There are many, in fact most, Christians that want to help. Many of us who want to make things better somehow, but that desire gets drowned in the fervor over the protection of moral values. The most frustrating thing about maintaining clarity is that, for a great number of Christians, the desire to do good and the need to promote morality are mixed and become indistinguishable.

Making it harder to identify those of for whom they don't.