Listening: Lateralus, Tool
I'd rather be: resting

I haven't been a good journaller for this side of things. I jot things down elsewhere and think I'll get back to everything here when I have more time. Funny thing is the time never shows up. Life is like that, I guess.

Still no movement on the theatre front though I have a lead to small place in Hollywood. The main contact has gone a business trip though. }:P I could push it and contact someone else it wouldn't be too hard. But I'm nervous and I let that get in the way.

Work is doing some restructuring and I want to ask for a promotion. Yeah I'm still here. Still doing wacky fun things for The Man. If you're wondering why it's because I FUCKING HATE job hunting. stuck a toe in the water, as it were, and found it sucks just as much as it ever did.

Am gearing up to travel. This is the travel season, after all. Friends headed all over the place in the country, New York, Washington, Kentucky, Oregon, Texas, Alabama, Maryland and so on. And it shall be topped off when I head to Korea with the HWD group. I'm very nervous but also excited. New and different. yeah, new and different. }:> I've never been to a country where I don't speak the language or know most of the customs. I don't want to look like an idiot American there, but I guess it can't really be helped. At least I'll be surrounded by a bunch of white people with permanently dazed expressions bending over to hear the guides explanations of a given proprieter's instructions on wearing shoes and taking pictures.


Right before I leave I get to see PJ Harvey and I'm taking two days off to chill and hang with people on weekdays. I'd rather leave on a weekend and get back on Wednesday and then chill Thurs & Friday but being with a group means I didn't pick. Well I'll get to just tag along and see what I see. I fully intend to take a big three subject notebook and do what I can to keep a written diary. We'll see if that works out.

My car was broken into a couple of weeks ago, just three days in advance of when I was scheduled to have my MP3/CD stereo installed. I really wonder if the theives saw my tucking the stereo under the driver's seat. I dunno. It was really irritating but I totally lucked out when a friend offered a CD stereo she wasn't using. It's not as nice but following the rule of gift horses, I really appreciate it. A little salve for my wounds.

I'm doing what I can to keep up with people which means regular emails and even a few letters typed out and sent, courtesy USPS. I've gotten to dislike the phone for a good conversation. I'm not sure why. MAybe because one or both sides are typically distracted and darn it, if you're going to be distracted when you talk to me, why can't we just chat on AIM so I can be doing my own thing too. I've come to accept that some people have spun irretrievably from my constellation. It's one of those things that I feel happens when neither side feels animated toward trying to meet up and see or talk to each other for more than a year. It's my fault as much as anything, I'm sure. But I feel content in the belief that I gave it my best shot.

Money problems abound, but I'm ignoring them in favor of getting needs settled before conquering the debt incurred by settling said need. Some of those needs are for makeup and shoes, but hey, I don't criticize you on how you spend your money, now do I? I recently spent way too much on a pair of wings my sister made for me, but since I set the prices the point was to give my sis some money. Two birds, one stone. Dig?

Also, see the link to the left that starts "BUY!" That's my friend Stacy's Mary Kay page. Buy something from her. This is not a polite suggestion. Yeah, I'm sure you need your money for something like a video game or maybe you're not into make up, but I don't give a crap. If you're a guy they have stuff for men. I've seen your bathroom. You need this stuff. You really do. Stacy's a single mom but pretty knowledgeable and darned capable. If you don't know what to get, email her with your question and she'll answer. It's for a good cause. Don't make me come over there.


Been working for ages and ages on my weight. the first four months of this year saw a lot of forward movement and while I lost 17ish lbs in 2003, I've kicked off nearly another 30 this year. I've just been really frustrated over the past couple months because I haven't gotten further along. My impression of myself directly feeds my mood and when I step off the scale have lost maybe half a pound in the last week I end up feeling like shit for a while. Still, I manage to get compliments from odd places. Yesterday my mom's cousin, Gloria, stopped me to tell me how good I looked and then proceeded to embarass the hell out of me by not letting me leave while she told everyone else how much weight I had lost. Still makes me want to run and hide, but I'll smile while I do so.

Gaming continues to be a passably ok way to kill an evening and nothing more.



Prolly forgetting something, but I'm running out of steam so I'll wrap up with a silly Q&A I've answered a million times.

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Name four things that you wished you had:
1. a better metabolism
2. debt paid off
3. my own theatre
4. the opportunity to work with people I respect

Appearance:
1. Hair- dark coffee brown with black streaks (was all black it has washed out)
2. Height- I wish I knew. At this point I've been measured in the past two years anywhere in the range of 5'5" and 5'8" I don't really buy either extreme so I typically say 5'7" cause I like being tall (sometimes)
3. Eyes- brown
4. Worst feature- yeah. flab...
5. Favorite Feature- on me? hands I guess. the question for what I like on other people is below

Who do I want to:
1. Kill- no one
2. Hear From- everyone
3. Look Like- *shrug* Gina Gershon-ish.
4. Be like- somewhere between Simone de Bouvier and my aunt Sister Irene

Five things that you should not do to me or while around me:
1. Lie to me
2. inturrupt me
3. talk shit about other people
4. tell me I'm stupid or wrong without backing up your position
5. disrespect my family, friends and/or Los Angeles

Do I:
1. Smoke- rarely
2. Drink- yep
3. Sleep with a "stuffie"- er.. a stuffed animal? from time to time.
4. Have a dream that keeps coming back- I did for a while but it (kinda) stopped. I think.
5. Believe that there is life on other planets- sure
6. Read the newspaper- haha. no. I can read them for free online. Why don't telemarketers understand that? I also listen regularly to NPR and read Newsweek and Time
7. Have a gay or lesbian friend- not at the moment
8. Believe in miracles- yep
9. Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever- define "faithful." And then define "forever." And then... aww screw it. No. Because people are not immortal. }:P
10. Consider the police a foe or a friend- whatever. depends. mostly indifferent
11. Like the taste of alcohol- eh not really. I like the strong girly drinks that don't taste like alcohol until you're puking them back up. And wine. I like wine too.
12. Believe in astrology- *shrug* like many things it's another way to view the universe and you're more likely to see a pattern if you were already looking. Basically I don't buy the daily forcasts, no matter how much detail goes into them. But I DO find some use in knowing people's birth signs. When I'm not sure which adjectives to use for a person, their signs give me a starting point. Sometimes.
13. Pray- yes
14. Go to church- on occasion
15. Have any secrets- yeah
16. Have any pets- nope
17. Go to or plan on going to college- already went. Maybe I'll go for a masters. But not for a long time.
18. Wear hats- not usually. Pretty much only if I'm outside for an extended amount of time.
19. Have a degree- yep
20. Have any piercings- yep
21. Hate yourself- yep
22. Wish on stars- not typically
23. Like your hand writing- nope
24. Believe in satan- sorta, but not really
25. Believe in witches- sure
26. Believe in ghosts- yeah
27. Believe in vampires- meh. Kinda.
28. Trust others easily- *shrug*
29. Like sarcasm- eh. not a whole lot. I love irony, though.
30. Take walks in the rain- *smiles*

Physical Features That I Admire In Other People:
1. Admire? depends. Things that betray self confidence and otherwise attract my attention. Often the intelligence in people's eyes, a guy's broad shoulders or hands - long or soft - the way a woman walks and her smile.

Comics:
1. Sandman
2. Invisibles
3. Transmetropolitan
4. Gloomcookie
5. Dork Tower

Bands/Singers: This is just for right now, tomorrow this will be different.
1. Tori Amos
2. Tool
3. PJ Harvey
4. Dead Can Dance
5. Blind Boys of Alabama

TV Shows:
No hablo TV. Si hablo DVD.
DVDS:
1. West Wing. MORE DAMMIT! I demand more!
2. South Park
3. where's my 70s Show?!
4. I will give much for the Gargoyles cartoons on DVD

And I daydream about being able to watch The Daily Show without the pain in ass that is getting a TV, cable and then staying up late or otherwise finding time to watch.

Kinds Of Clothing:
erm.
Daily: tshirt & jeans
yuppie (job interviews): quiet blouse with cute skirt that usually covers my knees.
Church: meh. Nice blouse & slacks.
Club: hoo-baby. If I could just show you the jackpot I hit when I went to Torrid right after prom season. Right the Hell on!! purple. velvet. crimson. satin. black. black. more black. *swoon*

Movies:
1. Elizabeth
2. Hoodlum
3. Nightmare before Christmas
4. Frida
5. Fight Club

Drinks: (sorta preferences, sorta just what I'm allowed)
1. coffee
2. white Russian
3. Cab sau (with slice of brie)
4. vanilla diet Coke (not a fave but I'm not currently allowed to drink fruit juice, if you can imagine)
5. water

Does your life suck?
1. well. It could be much, much better. For example if I won the lottery....

Do you get picked on at school?
1. Grade school: err was picked on by the teacher to asnswer many questions. Got teased by kids and a couple of foul little boys would try to intimidate me. They never got far. Please. I have three younger brothers.
2. Junior High: see above, but people trying to intimidated me were girls
3. High School: I learned to shut up and listen more and became the weird mousey girl in the back of the room. Somewhat self defense. I hated that place. IT was just evil.
4. College: again, ahve trouble with the definition. As adults the "picking on" gets more subtle and evil. Plenty of picking on when I wasn't in the room. Learned to ignore it.

Do you get beat up at school?
1. In junior high I got in one fight. The other girl was MUCH bigger than I was. None in high school. Honors student and weirdo so...

Are you currently being cheated on?
1. uh... I hope not? Kinda doubt it though. Looked around at mutual friends recently and we both laughed at how the *overwhelming* majority are male. And they're all very hetero geeks, so unless I'm WAY outa the loop, it's unlikely.

Do you cut yourself?
1. yeah, but I haven't in a while

Do you weigh 140 or less and think you are fat?
1. guh. If only.

Do you binge and purge?
1. nope

Do you starve yourself?
1. no, not without a really good reason that takes me from myself (Lenten fasting, for example)

Do you have a terminal disease?
1. not that I know of

How many people do you know with a terminal disease?
1. three

How many people do you know who have recently died?
1. how recent. And too many

Are/were they family members?
1. All save one.

Are your parents divorced?
nope

Do you not get along with your siblings?
ish. depends on the day. My BB was being a prick yesterday so I called him a little bitch. There was family everywhere so kicking the crap out of him like I really wanted seemed like a bad idea. I get along much better with my sister these days than I ever figured I would. The wonders that come with no longer living with the family.

Do you feel less than beautiful?
all the time

Do you have bad skin?
yeah. in the midst of a bad breakout now. }:P

Are you an alcoholic?
hope not. I like the drink, but I rarely drink alone or to excess.

Are you a heavy drug user?
naw.

Are you an attention whore?
1. not typically, though I have the occasional manic swing

Are you a slut?
dude, ask around.

Do your ears stick out?
to a normal degree.

Is your penis small?
yeah baby, it's microscopic.

or

Are your breasts small?
ffft. if only.

Can you afford the things you want?
rarely.

Can you afford the things you need?
typically

Have you been fired recently?
no. *knocks on wood*

Are you missing a limb?
*checks stash* doesn't look like it.

Are you pregnant?
better not be

Do you overeat?
rarely

Do you have a learning disability?
not that I know of

Are you a waste of space?
On occassion

What's your problem anyway?
I think too much, act too little.
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Questions?
Comments?
Concerns?