This is mostly about Terri Schiavo and her family's ordeal that is, for reasons beyond me, a national ordeal.

It's really sad when someone's family is torn apart by the death - or impending death - of that someone. It's got to be one of the most painful things someone can try and get through, all because each individual wants to be the speaker for the person who can't speak for him or herself. I don't really like the idea of people running around doing things on my behalf because "it's something I would have wanted." What, if I hadn't died? If I hadn't died you'd know I'd want doves released at my funeral? I would have wanted what? some circus to throw my name around from Congress to dinner tables nationwide as if each person uttering my name knows me?

I don't know which is more obscene the massive amount of misinformation being thrown around ("she's brain dead!" "No, she just needs speech therapy!") or that the federal government has decided to get personally involved in one family's tragedy. Actually. Fuck it, I'm used to misinformation. It's fucking gross that national leaders are using the weight of their combined offices to interrupt and intrude on the process of dealing with the problem. I guess it was fairly disgusting when the issue got to the level that the Florida state senate passed a law specifically to keep Terri hooked up, cheered on by Gov Jeb Bush.

What in the hell are they trying to do? Are they seriously thinking they're going to turn this into legislation to limit the options to taking people off life support? Cause so far all of the moves on the GOP side of the aisle have been specifically focused on the Schiavo case and not a word has been said how this would impact the likley thousands of other families confronting their worst nightmare in the form of a loved one depending on a machine for life.

And the fact that I haven't heard of a single Democrat standing up for Michael's right of attorney and calling the GOP party to task for all those pretty words of supposedly being against an intrusive government is aggravating me all the more. So it's not popular. What the fuck ever. When you are not the popular party fuck being popular and go with being right.

I don't know who's right with regarding plugging/unplugging. I don't know Terri's wishes. I don't think Michael is a slimeball and I think that the fact that he's turned down more money than most of us will ever see to just walk away is evidence of that. I don't know where the line for life really is and so I don't know where the line for being unable to help someone stay alive becomes murder. I've never heard that it's wrong in any way to not help someone in need, unlikeable, maybe, but not evil. Gah. So. In this specific case I don't have an opinion on what should be done with Terri and I don't want to form one.

However, I'm pretty well disgusted with the family for encouraging this spectacle and making everything stop for one person. And in this situatoin she's not even a person. Just a poster child. a name. a position taken on one side of a line drawn in the sand.

Because I don't know much about what goes on both biologically and medically when a person loses conciousness due to head trauma and because I have a fundamental fear of such a situation I've been mightily unable to decide for myself what I would want in such a situation. I hate to even contemplate trying to decide something like this for someone I love. I tend to think of being ready to refuse life support as a bit cavalier. But it's a personal choice so if other people want it for themselves, far be it from me to criticize.

I think it's neat when I hear about people waking up from decades in a coma but I know it's exceptionally rare. Also I have to imagine there are different states of being comatose relating (maybe) to how much damage and where the damage is. There are obviously short term comas that might last a few days or weeks. I'm not sure if doctors can tell when something will be a short term or long to possibly life-long coma. But it only recently occured to me that even in short term comas a person will need to have nutrients (I'm a little slow sometimes) and in all likelihood they won't be able to chew and swallow them in order to ingest them. So...feeding tube.

No. I'm not saying Terri might come back because other people have come back from just getting by on a feeding tube. She's not coming back.

I'm outlining the things I don't know. It's as much as I can bear to think about it for now. No one wants this kind of twilight death. But with the advances in medicine we should be able to decide how much to try and how long to wait until things are as definitive as life and death.