it's so quiet.. hellooo..? Today would have been a good day to stay home and unpack but work needs help and I could use OT money so I'm here instead. Next three days the office is closed and I don't think we'll even be allowed in the building.

The office I work in is one tiny block north of Colorado in Old Town Pasadena, right along the route of the Rose Parade. You could watch the parade from some of the windows on my floor.

As it is the evenings are already a mess around here and getting from the office to the freeway is a pain for navigating around foot and wheeled traffic, none of which is particularly aware of anyone else trying to get around.

Rain is forcast for tonight and most likely tomorrow. It's mostly going to hit California, north of me. But we in Southern California will still get rain on New Years Eve and possibly over the following two or three days. I really feel bad for the bandies if it does rain during the parade. I've both run around in the TMB uniform in the rain and marched in the Rose Parade and both were really uncomfortable. Putting them together would suck.

But since I'm not a bandie anymore I'm kind of glad to see that it will probably rain over the weekend. Weekday rain blows both because it snarls traffic and because I don't get to go outside and play in it.

Not sure what I want to do next. I don't exactly want to unpack, I would just like it to be done. Need to figure out how to work the heater, first thing in the morning the apartment is bloody cold. Also the apartment doesn't look particularly old and they've certainly kept up renovations - the cabinetry appears mostly new. It's only in the edges - the window frames and doorways - is there any hint to the age of the building. And the power outlets. If I didn't know better I would think they were coated in some sort of white clay. They don't have plastic on the outside so I don't know what gives. Also they're all the two-holed sort which is damned annoying since all the larger appliances have three prongs, not two. I bought a couple adaptors but I think I'll need to buy one more still.

Somewhere in the past few years - and I think I can best pinpoint it in the leadup to NYE 1999-2000 - I aquired a distaste for New Year's celebrations. It's arbitrary and made up but people around me chase FUN on that night with such dedication and intensity it's nearly offensive. I guess irritating would be a better word, but I feel nearly offended when it's implied that there's something wrong with me because I don't really care about celebrating NYE. Of course one should celebrate the New Year! It's the New! Year! guh.

But I'll still be at yarmaluke's (nee Molasses) at some point in the night because he's rad and the company promises to be interesting. If the forcast holds out it'll be a soggy night so I hope he's ready to have wet people crowded inside his house. I'm thinking I may try and find some bubbly to open. *shrug* Many considerations there but most having to do with maybe being the only person interested in drinking champagne. Maybe I should skip it and get some whiskey, which is what I've preffered lately.

Before the party, though, I'm thinking I'll run off to dinner with la familia to say good bye to my bros properly. BB flies out on Sunday and MB on Tuesday. My whiney inner child really, really doesn't want to go back, but she get beat up by both my big sis persona and my inner epicurean. Mom is making tamales tomorrow. }:>

***************************

So... thoughts on '05.

It had been one hell of a mixed bag for me personally. Occasionally I go back and read bits here and there and something still make me grin till my mouth hurts and something are still crushing. I forget all the things that happened in the past year.

Dead Can Dance reunited and put together possibly the most beautiful and moving concert I've ever attended at the Hollywood Bowl. I understand it was the only (at least state-side) show they did with an orchestra. Also got to see Tori Amos once more at the Greek (as it should be) and Nine Inch Nails came back around (finally!) and hit the Hollywood Bowl. Great fun blast there. Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride and Neil Gaiman & Dave McKean's Mirrormask; Batman Begins and Narnia all just pushed me to the bright, shiny edge of tear-filled happiness for getting their respective themes down *pat*.

Relationship stuff: like hell I'm writing about that here.

I put together a game that I created whole cloth and actually ran a couple of games. I'm seriously thinking of running more in '06. Please don't slap me - I'm sure I'll do plenty of that myself. Or at least I'll deal as I did when I put together the Katrina Relief concert. I have little to no evidence of it now - or at least my involvement in it - but knowing I did it is a little bit of a warm fuzzy.

I got to travel a little bit - first a long weekend in Monterey, which was just lovely. Then a week to the East Coast where I hung out with Rabbit in PA. Then onto Manhattan and Jersey City to hang out with Mizu and Jayde, met up with my old friend Gregorio and met his (now) fiancee, Robyn, and explored a few chunks of this snazzy little island. (MOMA, Central Park, the Episcopal Church that has been a place of worship for nearly 400 years, the boutiques with the oddest things like bridal veils or PBJ sandwiches, ST Patrick's Cathedral, and hot dogs *everywhere* }:>) And for the first time I got to go to Boston. Met Meg and explored Beantown. Later on yarmaluke and I headed to Wine Country and stayed in the Russian River Valley, just west of the Sonoma and Napa valleys. Got to really get my wine collection going in earnest and really get into knowing my wines (never buy a Pinot Noir without tasting it first!). Stayed put until ICC when I drove out to Phoenix and hung out and partied with friends till all hours. I'm still not sure why we have to leave town to do it but hey I got to see the St Francis church - the seat of the Phoenix Archdioces (which is beautiful) - and driving through the desert is always ok by me.

Spent '05 nearly entirely in Pasadena or Long Beach. I miss visiting/wandering around other parts of the LA Basin but it is just crawling with people who come from places far flung and assume that it's their space now. I feel squeezed out, even if that's not entirely accurate. I'll let '06 get here before I dedicate a lot of mental energy to wondering what that's all about. I love Los Angeles, still, even if she's an abusive bitch before her second cuppa.

Took walking bunches and bunches. I need new shoes as a result, but I've seen lots of crazy things on foot and I look forward to much, much more. Though I still haven't aquired any pepper spray. Probably should.

Keep going back and forth on writing notes of Yay! for specific people. There's a tiny handful of you who helped me keep my shit together when I needed it. You who showed up and were more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. Virtually or literally you've let me cry on your shoulder or let me vent and reminded me that I'm not crazy for feeling what I do. You who've taken the time to hold me at night and just be there. You know who you are and no words would ever do justice to the kindness you've shown me. And for one in particular - I just love your smile.

*********************
06? That's a different entry.