Let's spin the pastoral care wheel...

(clickety, clickety, clickety, click, click, click)

Wow, you've landed on the dysfunctional family dealing with the death of their mother...featuring the overbearing, pushy and inappropriately demanding in the circumstances daughter-in-law. Luckily none of them are in your congregation, so once you've done the funeral and offered to provide any aftercare they might need, you are done with them.

Take another spin...

(clickety, clickety, clickety, click, click, cli-)

Oh, just missed that day off! Instead you've landed on the beloved elederly member in her final decline. She'll have good days and bad days and you will be with the family as they make the agonizing decision to move her from the hospital to a nursing home, and you'll be ambivalent about their decision to mislead her about why she is there, but support them through their guilt and grief. She will cry every time you visit, with gratitude, and fade in and out of lucidity. Your time with her will be profound in ways you couldn't imagine, but draining in other ways you've never felt before. You will not be able to fully escape this space for an indeterminate period of time.

Isn't it someone else's turn yet? Nope! Time to spin again...

(clickety, etc)

Congratulations! You've landed on the major bankruptcy of a large corporation that puts your most unhappy parishoner's job at risk! He's told you he doesn't like the direction the church is going, he's withdrawn from attending worship with his wife, and now...as he teeters on career immolation, you must reach out to him...and be rebuffed...

Shake it off! That one is done...

But wait...shouldn't someone else get a turn?

Ha,ha! Funny solo pastorman...who else is there? Spin again...

(clickety-f-ing-clackety, ad nauseam)

Look everyone! I hope you've taken your vitamins ChicagoRev, cause you've just landed on "A Session Member has angioplasty for a blocked artery and now deals with mortality issues and needs your support." He will resist showing and sharing his vulnerability with you, but he will reach out to others on the session, demonstrating that your efforts at relationship building and trust development on the session are bearing fruit...

Guess what?! You get to spin again!

Um...I'd rather not for a while...

Too bad...here we go...

(annoying clicks that are now like little ice picks in your brain)

Oh, no! Just missed that presbytery sponsored retreat day for "new pastors" (23 months and a half months and still new?) visiting the Chicago Board of Trade and sharing lunch with some long-tenured pastors in the Presbytery...instead...you've landed on the "staff crisis" marker as your custodian blows out his knee the week before a huge music event that has your two musicians at odds with one another and with you! That's right! Three out of 4 of your colleagues are in crisis. Now go be "head of staff" and do what you can to help out... In the good news department, your exec. assistant will once again demonstrate that she is indefatigable, generous, loving, and essential...give thanks.

Oh good, sounds like a nice place to stop...

Yeah, right! Spin again! JUST ONE MORE TIME...THIS WEEK ANYWAY....

(covering ears because the clicks are driving you insane)

Wowzie, wow, wow!

Guess what? Your second most beloved member, an independent nonagenarian who is a rock...a knitter...and a loving cook...is in pain...and after three days of humiliating and excruciating tests, the source of the pain has still not been discovered..but severe diverticulitis and early lung cancer have been...and right now is the time you will wait with her and pray with her to see what tomorrow brings...


Have a happy day off!