Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but it's Sunday evening and I'm in the mood to be melodramatic.

So I was back home in Texas for a family reunion for 44 hours and had to get back to preach....

First, I ended up being given a "C" boarding group designation when I checked in for my Southwest Airlines flight AN HOUR AND A HALF before take off. How is this possible? Online check-in, of course. Why didn't I do online check-in? Because, as you may recall, I'm on the No Fly List....the result (I think) of a few pastoral emergency-motivated last minute flight cancellations and same-day rebookings. Because I'm on this list, I am denied access to online check-in and curbside check-in. (sigh)

Second, once we get on board, I'm actually stoked. It's an almost brand new 737-700....lots of legroom, firm cushions, wider seats, noone sitting in the middle seat...I do have a little trepidation because there were over 15 preboards....I mean this plane is lousy with children...but they all looked cute and well-mannered boarding, so perhaps there was hope...

But then...It began approximately 1/4 of an inch off the ground....from ten rows ahead...the first scream startled everyone on the plane. There was no wind up...there was no gradual fussiness rumble escalating from whines, to tears, to gasps, to sobs, to cries, to screams...

Nope...I'm talking glass-breaking-shrill, so-filled-with-despair-as-to-inspire-the-flowers-to-wilt, so-achingly-placed-in-the-screaming-part-of-the-throat-as-to-burn-just-hearing-it, so-heartbreaking-as-to-be-oddly-precocious-in-a-18-month-old wailing.

Was it ears? Was it just a very, very upset little girl? Who knows...All I know is that, with perhaps only three breaks of five minutes or so, this screaming continued for the next two hours of the two and a half hour flight....and then started again once we touched down. The distraught parents were so exhausted they just sat there while the rest of us filed off the plane.

It was so odd...at times I practically wept for this little child who sounded as though she was being tortured...though she was just being passed back and forth between an increasingly weary mom and dad...At times I ached for those parents whose baby was so upset and who were the recipients of more than their share of killer stares, well-intended offers of advice, and, well, hatred. And there were times when I just wanted to scream from frustration and helplessness, others when I had truly un-Christian thoughts about everyone with a genetic connection to this blaring car-alarm of a toddler.

THe vision of her exhausted, tear-streaked face twisting into a pircing shriek as she was held by her father, her head just high enough over the seat to be seen....haunts me.

It was a terrible flight for all 107 people aboard the plane...none more than that little family...but I was also intrigued by how others on the plane responded...I saw more folks listening to I-Pods, pulling out laptops and watching DVDs, and LITERALLY covering their heads with blankets than I have EVER seen on one flight. And everyone with earphones had them turned up so loud that those of us without them got our main dish of shreiking served with sides of the Motown 25 DVD audio and the bass line of a Hoobastank CD. It was aural armageddon.

30 hours later, I think I've finally recovered. But if anyone ever wants to crack me....I know how they can coerce me into doing just about anything.