As I sit at my desk, my nostrils fill with the rich, spicy reminder that this is the first week of the month. On every first Monday from November to April, women of the church gather to prepare Spanish Rice Casserole that will be served to 60 or so hungry homeless folks on Wednesday night at a local drop in shelter.

Today that scent was accompanied by another...a slight hint of something more acrid, like burning paper. It turns out, the ladies had placed a huge pot on the left hand most burner on the stove and then moved that pot a bit too far to the left, so that the pot was directing the flames of the burner a bit too close to the cabinets that are next to the stove. The smell was the slight charring of wood.

When I went to investigate the smell, I learned that this was not the first time this had happened. For the last 20 years, every couple of years someone forgets and does the same thing. There has never been a fire...(thanks Boss), but there was a little smoke.

Needless to say, I'm looking at stainless steel cabinet guards on the net today...but all of this got me thinking.

How many of us in ministry have experienced a little indirect charring...when the delicate compartments of life are scorched by the burning needs and expectations of our callings and congregations?

And particularly for single (but not resigned to that status) pastors, can we really raise enough boundaries to prevent that from happening? And should we? Are a few private life scorched points a reasonable price to pay for accepting a calling to service? After all, plenty of people in the private sector have no social life because of their jobs, and it's just considered the price one pays to get ahead. Isn't it the same in the church? Or should the church model something different?

Can one be a servant leader in a solo pastorate and still claim enough of a private life to date and, at least in Mass. (and the rest of the states for you heteros), possibly marry someone?

All of that being said, it's not like I'm unhappy or want to change careers. This is what I'm supposed to be doing and this is the place, for now at least, where I'm supposed to be doing it. But is there a way to keep the flames of the job sufficiently at bay to find a partner?

Do small churches who call single pastors expect the pastor to date only them? :-)

A subject to ponder in these chilly months...

Has any part of your life been scorched by call?