No, the title of this entry doesn't refer to some sort of bankruptcy or anything along those lines. I am, of course, here to talk about one of the most ground-breaking pieces of art to surface since Van Gogh painted Starry Night. Obviously I'm referring to R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet," of which the first 12 chapters have been released.

"Trapped in the Closet" is the heart-warming musical tale of a simple man with a concealed pistol who merely wants to cheat on his wife without facing any repurcussions. Unfortunately, this simple man also will pull out his Beretta at the drop of a hat. Never before have I seen someone so willing to pull out a gun. Even after Gwendolyn's brother Twaan accidentally gets capped in the arm, Sylvester simply cannot miss an opportunity to wave his gun in somebody's (anybody's) face.

So who is your favorite character from chapters 1-12? Is it Big Boy, the midget stripper who shits himself when a gun is pulled on him? Or how about Brenda, the crazy fat white bitch who got knocked up by Big Boy and is always trying to get her husband to eat pears? Let's not overlock Rufus, the married gay preacher, or Twaan for that matter, who just got out of jail that day but has already twice pulled guns on people after getting shot by a cop.

Here's what I'm driving at--this shit is off the chain. Shakespeare-like brilliant. R. Kelly, you a genius. Take a simple beat, turn completely idiotic dialogue into music based about some ideas probably dreamt up by a fourth grader on meth, and you have yourself an instant classic. God bless you, R. Kelly, and may justice never restrict your musical ability.