Went to Hardee's tonight and got me a three-piece fried chicken meal. THREE PIECES. You can imagine my surprise when I got home and found out I had actually received FOUR pieces.

This immediately solved a minor crisis for me. I mean, three pieces--it can just be too much, especially if one of the pieces is a really large breast. Now, if I'm getting three pieces, I'll still likely eat the third piece right away rather than save it for later, because it's like what, I'm only gonna eat one piece? Fat chance. I'll eat the third and likely feel a little bloated, unless the pieces were on the smallish side.

But with four pieces, I could eat two and be satisfied, and set the other two pieces aside for later. Perhaps for lunch tomorrow. And it will be a satisfying lunch at that, as I will have two pieces rather than just one.

Now, the question arises: Why did the lady at the drive-thru give me an extra piece? Was the extra piece of chicken symbolic of the extra love Jesus harbors for me? Did she see that I am bound for greatness and decide to get on my good side, thinking that one day I would return the favor with a magnanimous gesture of my own? Was she a crackho that couldn't count right? Was it because I flashed my piece as I said "that's a FOUR PIECE combo, right?" It's a tough question, one that I intend to have answered when I rob that mother-effer later this week.

I leave you with this thought: People say that there's no sense to a "pre-emptive" war, but I beg to differ. Japan bombed Pearl Harbor without provacation, and look what it got them: We helped them rebuild their country after nuking the shit out of it. So really, when President Bush repeatedly lied about information in the days leading up to the war, he was really just using World War II-era Japan as a model to look out for those who matter the most: the children.

Let the eagle soar
Like it's never soared before
From Rocky Coast
To Golden Shore
Let the eagle soar