Hunter has reached a stage where he starts to throw fits (okay: tantrums) if he doesn't get what he wants. He's also starting to measure the effects of his tantrums. I can tell he's watching me through squinty eyes, seeing how I'm reacting. What if he scrunches up his fact a little more? What if he starts flailing? Can he make his face turn red?

The weird thing is how little it bothers me.

In the past, I had no patience for tantrums. I'd feel myself close off and distance myself from the situation, but there would be that underlying current of anger and disdain fueling the walls I'd build.

Now, I actually kind of surprised (relieved?) to find that my instinct when Hunter starts doing this is to give him hugs.

Love is unconditional. Love means that I love him even when he's throwing a fit. Love means letting him know that I love him -- even when he's throwing a fit. Love means letting him know that yes, it's okay to express his emotions, to convey his frustration, to be as mad as he can be and I will still love and cherish him.

But it's not about limp permissiveness. The love and nurturing form a safe environment in which to help teach him how to express his rage/frustration/general unhappiness in ways that not only acknowledge his feelings, but show respect for other people (and things!) as well.

And no, Mommy is not letting you watch Thomas and the Dragon right now.

But I still love you.