I have three stories ready to go out in the mail tomorrow. That'll raise some numbers and lower others.

Yearning For Metamorphosis was on the block at the Nexus last night. I can't say I found anything new after getting it critiqued at the Wordos a week and a half ago. I'll probably shy away from putting the same story through both workshops next time.

Dean was overly concerned about my reaction to the critique. He wanted to be sure I mailed it and not kill it by listening to every comment. He forgets, or he doesn't realize how far I have come. Things came into focus after the two-week workshop last year. Paradigms shifted inside my head. Critiques are just reader reactions and I can only compare them to the vision inside my head. It's the only way I can keep going forward.

I'm happy to see Dean's concern. He's always been encouraging and I remember a couple of occasions when he was saying nice, positive things about my writing and suddenly he would stop and basically say to me (paraphrasing here)this is going through one ear and out the other.

That is another thing that's different. I'm more likely to believe in myself and a story I wrote. I HEAR the good comments. And it's more than believing, I feel it and it's the most natural thing in the world. Talk about self-actualization.

Old habits come back. Some of the old subconcious beliefs come back too. But they don't stay around too long. I recognize the faulty, self-defeating thought patterns and move on by replacing them with something more positive.

I gotta keep moving forward on revising the novel. And I'll see if I can find the time in March to get Yearning For Metamorphosis in the mail.