Every so often, I stand back and look at where I am in my life, and if where I am now is where I want to be, and if the direction I'm heading in is really where I want to be going in my life. Sometimes, I like what I see. Sometimes, I don't.

Right now, there are two major aspects of my life that I look over - my relationship, and my career. The third major aspect of my life, sleep, is something that I've already decided I don't get enough of, and probably never will, so I've just kind of resigned myself to that fate of bleary-eyed semi-consciousness.

On the first front, I'm more than satisfied. Jen is wonderful, and someone I'm thrilled to be married to. Life looks good, and the future looks promising. Not many complaints here, at all.

And then, there's my career.

Okay, career seems to be a strong word for it. There's a definite difference between a career and a job. I have a job. It's something I do from 8 to 5 every day, in order to pay the bills, get medical insurance, and give me some spending money for movies and dinners. Right now, I sit behind a computer 95% of the day, print reports, oversee an employee database, and shuffle paperwork around until everything seems to fit. All humility aside, I'm good at it. But there's a distinct lack of appreciation here, and I'm not the only one who's noticed it. Now, I'm no glory hog. But every so often, would a "That's some good work there, Robert" really kill the supervisors around here? This entire department busts its collective hump day in and day out, and as a reward we get to watch people in other departments get raises and - joy of joys - get our front lobby repainted to a color that looks like Barney the Dinosaur exploded. Those supervisors who do look around, nitpick and criticize so much that you'd think there was a revolving door for people being hired, then leaving.

My problem is this - I have no passions. There's really nothing that I love doing, with very few exceptions. I like taking long trips by Greyhound (gone L.A. to N.Y. twice), playing video games, and walking. None of those really have "career" written all over them. One of the other exceptions is cooking, and a career as a chef of some sort would definitely be interesting, but... I dunno. Kind of undecided on that one. I might just live with the simple praise that people like my pasta sauce. :)

One other option that has come to light recently, during a conversation with Jen, is really one I've been looking into a bit more in depth - the LAPD. Something about it seems to strike a chord with me, although I still can't put my finger on exactly what that is. Maybe it's a thirst for justice, smouldering in me since I was mugged way back when. Maybe it's an interest in the law, fostered by watching Jen in law school. Maybe, just maybe, the uniforms are snazzy. I dunno.

Of course, that would mean I'd have to finally learn to drive. Hrm.