EDIT>>>9.28.2010: almost forgot this was last Saturday, the 25th. just to clear up the little confusion there (whoa, irony).

Too late, already happened.

Ever have that feeling, you get out of bed and already, you feel like crap?

Yeah, I've got that feeling.

Soo. Leah kept me up the whole night, so I wasn't able to get much sleep. Plus, I kinda regret watching those movies last night, but they were sooo good. Kinda my fault there, really..... I only slept for about...hmm....four or five hours. And that is not good because my shift starts early in the morning. I was feeling so bad I asked if I could be let off early and fortunately they let me go. I walked home. Again. It was really hot (so much for the first day of autumn, that day was so hot I don't think summer wants to leave yet) while I was walking home. I just wanted to pass out. Oh, that reminds me. I saw this dead snake lying belly-up on the road, and I'm like, "I'll be just like that snake if I don't get home soon." Aaahhhh........so pissed off at myself.

Don't know where my black jump drive is. I mean, my blue one's still with me, thank God, but I don't know where my black one went. I actually just realized that it was missing while I was on my first hour on shift. At first, I was thinking that it fell into the trashcan. I checked, but it didn't look like it fell in there. Plus. it'd be hard for my jump drive to separate from my lanyard because the key ring on it is very strong. So fortunately, it is most likely that my jump drive didn't fall into the trashcan in the kitchen. Then I decided to backtrack of all the things I did this past week. Ok, I was both at DTCC's academic center and library this past week, but I'm having a hard time remembering if I pulled out the jump drive and stuck it into the USB and left it there. Idk.....I probably did, but I don't know when it happened. I mean, I'd rather have it left at the academic center or library than at work because at work, I don't think they give two cents about what happens to your stuff. Anyways.....was really REALLY praying that I'd find my jump drive at home, in my room. I checked every possible place in my room when I got home, but I couldn't find it anywhere......o.O *really freaking out at that point* I guess I'll just have to wait until Monday to ask about it at DTCC. Sooooo praying that I find it. I feel so stupid that I forgot to back it up. Gaaaaahh!!!

I am just so busy right now, I've got like five million things going on in my mind. I feel like opening a window and screaming, "It's been hell and I can't take it anymore!!!"

I wish I had some help, I could really use it.

Anyways. Gotta go work on my project for my design class. Can't believe it's already the mid-term project.

I'm outta here.

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9.27.2010>>>12.20pm

Wrote this in my notebook during class, but wanted to put it up here. Arrived at class late. Oh yeah, mid-term project wasn't due today. It's due....uhm....idk....*thinks* he never mentioned when it's due, just the letter and the logos. I think the universe hates me today. Waaaaiiit, what?

10.25am
Dammit, I'm soooo tense right now. Ok, so I just came into class. Took me five minutes to step inside the classroom. I'm not that great at creating big entrances, so I had to write a note that said:

Please let me in =^-^=

I slipped it under the door and it worked, so now I'm sitting in class, all caught up. I finally got my jump drive, after a super long conversation with the security guard. I was HYPER-VENTILATING by the time I got finished. I put up a long and hard fight, but I got my jump drive back. THANK GOD!

10.37am
Slightly calmer now.

11.06am
Chill.

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2.04pm

Asked my subconsious if I could write what the heck's going on in my head right now.

"Yes."

Ok....tsk, I'm so confused and tired right now. It's like, I'm fine one moment, and the next, I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Idk, maybe because it's Monday. I'm remembering this little conversation I had with Mama the other day. Some of it went a little bit like this:

Me: "Maybe I feel inadequate because of a lack of self-confidence?"
Mama: "Yeah. But it's because of your upbringing."
Me: "*sigh* That is so true.....I really wish I had more confidence."

God, my father's such a jerk. He left the country without even telling us. My mother called him the other night and when she was talking to him, she heard a rooster crowing in the background. I'm like, "Yeah, he's definitely in the Philippines." The one thing that bothers me is why he never told us or why he's going back in the first place. Oh well.
Didn't really care about us, so why should we care about what he does?

Anyways. Back to confusion. Feeling a lot of it. My brain just went into overload for a few moments. Well, it still feels like that but it's not that bad right now. I think. Uhm...*thinks* feeling sleepy. Wish I could go over to the playground, but school's already started over there and I don't wanna freak out the little kids (even though I look like one).

It's just.....ah, I don't know. I feel so indifferent.