It's been a good few days - which is wonderful for me but bad for this journal! I've realized that when I'm feeling quietly contented, I still want to write fiction, but I feel much less of an urge to write journal entries. Anyway, our anniversary was wonderful. From the moment Patrick got home, around 2pm, it was just a perfect day, full of trips to the park and the café, a great dinner date, and lots and lots of really good conversation all through the afternoon and evening. Just right. :)

Today I read through the first draft of my superheroes short story and spent a few hours doing my first big rewrite of it. The bad news is, I still can't think of a title I like (as usual! I hate coming up with titles). The good news is, I still really like the story, even though it's full of early-draft issues. The ambivalent news is, it got even longer in my revision. Me: "Oh, God, it's 5700 words now! It's one of the longest stories I've ever written!" Patrick: "Good! More money!" Me: "I don't know, this just feels wrong..."

I also figured out the danger of SFWA for me. Just like someone said in a comment on an earlier entry, there is a definite "high school" feeling about the Nebula recommendations. I was really excited about making my first Nebula rec's the other day, and I nominated two short stories I loved, one adult novel, and one YA novel for the Andre Norton award. Then I realized: hey, the new Harry Potter novel is eligible for the Norton award....but I couldn't make myself nominate it! I felt just like I had back in high school - that panicky feeling in your chest when you want to say something honest, but you're too scared that the cool kids will all laugh at you... Now, the thing is, this is insane. First of all, this feeling is entirely self-imposed. Yes, I know there are a lot of writers in the SF/F community who are very scathing about the Harry Potter books, but there are also plenty who aren't, and if any of them did think sneering thoughts when they saw my name in the SFWA Forum nominating Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows...well, how would I ever know? And why should I care? And yet... I want the cool kids to respect me!

But I was brave today (unlike much of high school!) and I nominated it anyway, because for heaven's sake, this was a 700-page book that I finished in seven hours, staying up till 1am because I could not stop reading. Secretly (or not-so-secretly, now, I suppose) I think it was probably the biggest novelistic achievement of this year, since it managed to bring 7 fat books to an incredible conclusion, with some of the best plotting and strongest emotional intensity of any book I've ever read, for adults or kids. How could I not nominate it for the award?

But I felt ridiculously nervous as I sent in the nomination.

Must get over that soon....