Yesterday, I had an "epiphany".

(1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something; (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking; (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure or a revealing scene or moment.

Yup, all of that. It seems that my mind knew very well I had erred, and let me know in no uncertain terms!

I realized that I had asked a couple years ago, at my Brother's Memorial, (I sure would like to see that video some day) that my family get over any old "issues".

I realized that I had fallen into exactly this trap, and, amid the tears of failure, did what I could to ameliorate my offense.

I cannot ask of others what I cannot live up to myself. "Teach by example"; that's what I forgot!

It was a real blunder, a flub, a fumble. I goofed, I lapsed through my own miscue, my own misstep. It was entirely my mistake, my oversight, my slipup, and it made me made me stumble.

It was all my fault, and all I could do was apologize.

I am very sorry for these recent, non-loving, thoughts and actions.