Okay, so I have been going back and forth, sometimes using LiveJournal and sometimes Journalscape, as there are really two different communities of people and opinions and familiarities (kind of like having two circles of friends, you tell them kind of the same stuff, but not everything)

Today was more of an LJ mood (well, I was going back and forth all day), so I typed a few paragraphs...

And Live Journal ate my post... It gave me a server error, the back button and refresh screen did not retrieve any of what I typed. it didn't post it, it just ate it. I wonder if it relies on the consumption of several sacrifices of unsuspecting journal entries per day in order to continue existence. It thrives on the drama of a lost journal entry, never to be re-written in quite the same manner.

Okay, enough of that, on to reality.

The dilemma that I refer to in my title is not my own. Although I am not directly involved in the dilemma or decision, and can only provide my guidance, I am troubled that I am so uncertain about my guidance, and I care about my friends very deeply, wanting to lead them to the best possible track.

A dear friend of mine is pregnant. She already has a very loved and well cared for child, and would be more than capable of being a great mom to this new child… if this new child actually comes to be. Unlike some I know whom I do not believe are ready or really very capable of properly bringing up a child, she is quite capable, quite intelligent, and has already proved to be up for the role of mom.

She is currently in the process of making a decision. Due to her health, and I am not going to go into details, not only is it very likely that she may not be able to bring the baby to term, but it is very likely that she may not survive doing so herself.

She is not currently with the baby’s father (though they are kind of in touch) and is very concerned about his feelings in regards to the matter. Last I heard, his opinion was teetering between either “no decision” or “keep the baby.”

I have never in my life justified abortion, and I know it is a touchy subject to talk about even in a journal. Previously, my judgment would have been based solely on religious reasons, but I have not only grown up a lot since then, but I have not been challenged with the subject so close and personal, involving friends who count on me and my friendship. I am troubled. I care about her, and do not want to lose a friend. The issues between her and the father of the child are enough to truly break your heart (a very long story) and I only hope that whatever reassurance and advice I do give her, that it is the right advice.

She’s got to make the decision soon. I just hope I’ve been of some support whatever she decides to do.

It's been a few days since I've last talked to her about this, but I haven't been able to get the issue out of my head all day.