I've been having some very memorable, very vivid dreams lately, so I think I need to start keeing a bedside dream journal around. The past two really big memorable dreams are almost as opposite as they could possibly be.

One was really wonderful, exciting, scary but in a challenging way, and a flying dream which I absolutely adore. It contained friends and celebrities. I was swooping into a Britney Spears concert, saw a few friends, and picked a fight with Britney at the stadium. Some of the details are not as clear as they were a few days go. It was one of those dreams that I did eventually realize that I was dreaming, which happens every so often towards the end of my dream and allows me to do things like accept that it is a dream and not wake up scared, or to do things I wouldn't think of or dare to do if I thought things were real.

The second which was last night scared the bejeezus outta me, contained a lot of fear and sadness, and ended with me in the process of being intentionally killed by doctors. The situation in the dream was that I had breast cancer or some sort of cancer that was casually diagnosed as inoperable and untreatable, and I recall the doctors and my mother settling on the conclusion that the best thing for me to do would be to go into the hospital in a few days time to be euthanized. The rest of the dream were a few activities such as going to the mall, hanging out with friends, etc, basically trying to do a few things before I had to die. I never felt sick during the dream, no physical representation of a sickness other than the doctors telling me, but I had completely accepted that I was going to be killed in a few days by doctors. I recall going to the doctors, sitting in a chair as I was asked questions and as they prepared some equipment I was not familiar with, and the thoughts going through my head while I sat there. First, I was very sad and very scared because in all of my lame activities I never said goodbye to my twin sister, and wanted to postpone the death so I could at least hug her goodbye. I regretted not being able to kiss some of my guy friends goodbye and imagined hugging and kissing a few of my close friends. I then hoped that when I would be killed, I would immediately wake up into another life, possibly as a newborn with hopefully some memory of this life. I was then, once they seemed to be ready, terrified of having this done and then questioning as to why they were doing it, I didn't feel sick, they must be wrong, but scared that it was too late. I woke up horrified, but relieved that it was a dream. I think the doubt that this was right was probably my normal occaisional "this isn't right because it's a dream" but I still woke up terrified and ver relieved that it was a dream.

I think the weirdest thing about the dream was my hopes of reincarnation as part of my fear of dying. I had never considered reincarnation a viable avenue due to the religion I grew up in (though do not currently claim a religion) so that part surprised me. Things have been a but stressful at work, but not too much more than the week before when I had my good dream.

I am hoping that they mean something, we shall see.

On a side note, saw "28 Days Later" last night and really liked it. There was this girl on there who had an uncanny similarity to my friend Shanti throughout the movie. It was an interesting approach to the zombie movie. Skipped karaoke last night because I had to finish some plot stuff for the game I will be running on Saturday. Over the weekend I got a new phone and some snazzy ring tones, a new turtle tank filter, organized some of my stuff, and went to a werewolf game on Sunday. Also saw a play on Saturday Night called "Man Ranch" that Wendy (our lovely hostess from karaoke) was in. She is also in "Reefer Madness" which we will be seeing tonight. I admire a girl who can do two shows at the same time. She's really great.

Paid all of my bills yesterday and today, so watched a huge chunk of my paycheck dissapear before my eyes.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled workplace madness. :)