have you ever felt like you were the odd man out? have you ever felt like you were out of place and didn't belong? that seems to be the story of my life lately. i don't fit in. anywhere. with anyone. i know what i want. i know where i want to be and who i want to be with. but it will never be. i just have to learn to accept it.

this ramble is courtesy of the conversation i had with a friend today. my lovely morgan was in town and i got to see her, which should have made me very happy. and it did. until i started talking to her about life, love, and the like. my happiness then turned into melancholy. i realized that i was nowhere near where i wanted to be in life. not in terms of my career, not personally, not mentally. i can see in my mind my ideal life. when do dreams die and turn into their opposite reality? i guess when you are 25 and completely alone.

i want to skip new year's this year. the thought of yet another year of kissing no one (or 40 gay boys) just isn't my idea of fun this year. go away 2004.


***in a completely unrelated mindset - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYCE!!! Benihana's was super yummy (thank you guys!). i hope you had a great day.***