I find myself at one of those places where a bunch of roads come together, and there's this confusing sign that points in many different directions...figuratively.

My life has been a mixture of science, computers, literature, and music. I guess I technically made the furthest progress in science, what with that BS and all. However, I look back at the various musical performances I've been a part of over the years (although not in quite a while) as the moments I'm most proud of. I make my living working with computers, and I spend my free time reading.

I was thinking back to my philosphy of science course the other day. Thomas Kuhn really upset me, largely because his ideas made sense to me. Basically he pointed out that most of what people think of as science, is actually just highly technical labor. We take the brilliant ideas of the Einsteins and we apply the tools of science to work out all the parctical implications. I just read Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud, and chapter 7 got me thinking about this same idea, except related to all my other endeavors. He breaks up the creative process into 6 steps: idea, form, idiom, structure, craft, and surface. He points out that many people are content to master one of the later steps and feel no need to establish a new creative paradigm by seriously meddling with form or idea. Paradigm is the Kuhn buzzword

A large part of what makes me who I am, are the experiences I've had. I was a boy scout, and learned about the outdoors and camping and survival. I studied the piano, the trumpet, and the French Horn. I played in ensembles, and I've sung in choirs. I've got a degree in Physics and I've got lots of experience making useful websites. I have some basic knowledge of martial arts. I can swim, ride a bike, and I know the basic rules of baseball, basketball, football, and soccer. I've become rather obsessed recently with independent music, independent comics, and independent media.

I knew this guy in college. He told me one day, "I'm a perfectionist." I responded, "You're more disorganized than me. You rarely go to class. You're lazy. You never DO anything. You..." He stopped me and said simply, "I refuse to do anything that's not perfect." I think he had a rather warpped outlook, but I worry when I find myself using his excuse.

I worry that I'll never do anything other than toil within an established paradigm. Written down that doesn't seem like much of an obstacle. I've been told more than once, "Unless you're writing, you're not a writer."

I guess I should do something about that.