my iTunes is totally not working, and it turns out that there is no actual support for this. After spending a frustrating 15 minutes on apple.com/support, I tried emailing support@apple.com, and got the following response:

Thank you for writing to support@apple.com or techsupport@apple.com. You've probably written us with a technical question, a problem that needs addressing or some feedback about our products or support resources. We want to be sure to help you get the assistance you need, so please read this message for where to go to get help. We apologize for not being able to answer your question directly via email. However, we do have a number of web and phone resources that you can use to get answers to your questions. Apple maintains an extensive support site at: All support content including specific product support pages, software updates, links to our discussion forums, and our support knowledgebase are available at this address.