Monday

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"Finally, one just has to shut up, sit down, and write." - Natalie Goldberg
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Okay, I am here this morning. I wrote a page in my hardcover journal last night. For some reason I just was not in the mood to show up here. I guess it is okay to take a day off once in awhile.

Today's writing prompt is about discipline as to writing. Yes, it does take discipline, acceptance, or a commitment to show up every day and write something. Although, it does mean I will write well or even that I will like what I have written. See the quote above and you will know what I am getting at.

So, I attempt to show up every day here to write down my thoughts, my plans, my goals et cetera, et cetera.

Are you bored yet?

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Yesterday, I was in reading mode. I finished up the Tess Gerritsen book I had begun on Saturday afternoon, "Ice Cold." It was a very well written book and highly intriguing. I recommend reading it if you like an on-the-edge story.

Another action I took was to take down the hummingbird feeder late yesterday afternoon. The birds finally drank the fluid down below the edge of the container. There was still some fluid in the feeder well and just a little bit of sludge. I cleaned and bleached everything out and thing cooked up some new food. This time I used less of the red food coloring.

I feel now that the birds have found the feeder, I can cut back with the red each time I make up food until I am using just a drop to tell me when the feeder is empty. The red of the feeder well will catch their eye and they will come to enjoy because of that.

The hummingbirds are fun to watch. Bailey and I are learning their bird song and can now recognize when the little birds are in the area. With having the feeder right outside the slider window we can watch the birds close up and watch those little wings beat the air.

I moved the suet feed back to its original place on the back fence. The one blue jay that comes to feed is very happy about this. As he announces his pleasure to the community, Bailey chatters to him. I do not know what Bailey would do if he was outside with the bird but it is fun to hear him talk to the bird. Bailey's usual place for Cat TV is lying down in his chair at the dining room table.

Bailey is a very good cat. Yes, he has his own dining room chair. Bailey is not one to beg for food. He just wants to be with us when we eat. As he does with the birds, he gets himself comfortable and goes to sleep while we eat our meal. I am very grateful that he is not the type to beg. If Bailey did this, I would have to make him get down.

Bailey just likes to be with us. If I am or we are in the kitchen either cleaning or cooking, Bailey has to be there. We have made a spot on the corner of the counter for him to sit. In this way he is part of the action. Most of the time Bailey is very good about not getting on the counter but he does have his moments.

Bailey also has his moments of getting on the dining room table. Which he is quickly dispatched from either the table or the counter and a stern word about this badly chosen behavior. I am not sure this make any difference to him other than when he catches me watching him, the one paw about to be place on forbidden territory, the paw in question raises slowly back to where it belongs. Of course, I am not stupid, I know he gets on the table and counter when we are not around.

As you can tell, Bailey is a very important part of our family. I am so glad we rescued him from Animal Services. He had just come in that day when we went to look for another fur child. Bailey has taken to being an only child since Max, our tuxedo Maine Coon cat died last August. We still miss Max, a lot, and I was glad Max had Bailey to keep him company in the truck when Max was feeling unwell. I hope Bailey was some comfort to Max.

While I write, Michael is filling up the washing machine for me. This is usually my job but I have been lax in keeping up with the dirty dishes. This is a symptom of my disabilities, depression I think, when I have not the energy or the desire to keep my home inhabitable. Although, Michael made a killer salad yesterday from all the greens we received from the food bank last week.

I do not know if I mentioned it but Michael and I have learned that he is the better cook and I am the better cleaner of our domain. This knowledge is valuable since I do not cook very often and when I do I am usually overwhelmed. I can assist Michael and this works but most often he likes to have the kitchen to himself.

Whereas, I like cleaning, this is the part of homemaking that Michael dislikes. He will vacuum the carpets and do other things for me. Primarily though I handle all the cleaning such as the bathroom, straightening and dusting the living room. Though, I do not touch his coffee table of the flotsam and jetsam of his life. But then, he does not touch my little islands of the same around my chair.

This part of my personality comes from my Dad. This was one aspect of my Dad's personality traits that drove mother crazy was his various stacks of books and magazines around his chair.

Not that I do it for the same reason but I feel Dad did it as a protection of space and kept mother at a distance. She was not the nicest of person even in the best of times. So, I want do not want to keep Michael at a distance, as I love him immensely. I do like my stacks of stuff. Mostly my stacks are reading material, an assortment of shoes and a basket of more reading material and CDs. Although I my "stuff" does keep Michael at a distance because he cannot come close to me when I am in my chair.

One of the ideas that have come to me is from watching the various movies we have seen. The idea is to have a window seat. I have never had one but to have that little cubby and to be able to gaze out the window and read to my heart's content. I would have a comfortable padding on which to sit and then lots of fluffy-type pillows to prop myself up with.

I sort of have a window seat already because my chair and ottoman is beside the window. My idea is to place my chair and ottoman parallel to the window and find all of my pillows to fill in the area. Michael says I will lose floor space and this may be true. I want to try it out just to see how it feels. This may also make enough room to place another chair in the living room and would create a better seating area.

As I look out my slider, the sun is shining and there is a delightful breeze coming through the screen. This is a lovely place to write. I can hear life going on about me such as the hummingbird's talking to whoever is listening, the radio in the quiet lulls as the dishwasher changes cycles, the dishwasher of course, and the television in the background. Bailey also does some talking either to me or Michael or to the birds.

Which makes me wonder why; I have such a hard time with putting words to screen or even to paper. Maybe it is that critic I have that is whispering in my ear that I cannot think I can do this; I possibly cannot do this perfectly so why try.

I feel I must name my critic. Then I could have conversations with him or her about his or her input. As I sit here and think about a name, nothing comes to my mind. Maybe my readers can assist me with this.

mz. em

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Currently Reading: "Blood Promise: A Vampire Academy novel" - Richelle Mead
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