Monday

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"What can we writers learn from lizards, lift from birds?" - Ray Bradbury
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Music of the Day:
Jon Butcher - Wishes
The Brooklyn Cowboys - Dodging Bullets

Drinking: Water
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What I get from today's quote is I don't pay attention to my ready made teachers. I know the lizards and birds go to bed at a decent hour, they eat only when they are hungry, and by watching the hummingbirds, they get plenty of exercise, and both know when to stop and enjoy the sunshine.

As for me:

I stayed up to late.

I slept in my chair.

I was fussy when I went to bed.

During the night or early morning I bumped my brace into Michael. This woke him up. He complained that he had just fallen asleep.

I looked at the time. It is somewhere in the five o'clock hour. It is still dark outside. I think about how I was going to get up early to meditate, write and do my exercises.

I am more fussy.

I begin to find reasons why I must stay home this morning.

One, I am tired.
Two, I have lots of paperwork to do.
I want to do my usual routine.
It is okay to miss a meeting.

Ah but, I called my ride last night and told her I would meet her at Starbuck's. I can always call her this morning and tell her I am not doing well and am not going to the meeting.

Then my Nurturer says to me, "For all the reasons you have given for not going to the meeting are all the reasons why you should go."

I hate it when she is right.

I get up at five minutes to eight. I go and meditate. I like what I have accomplished so far in the sanctuary.

In focusing on my breath, I have come to realize that I have been wearing my shoulders as earrings. The more I focus on my breathing, my shoulders relax. Ah, that feels good. No wonder my neck and shoulders hurt all the time.

I breathe some more. My shoulders drop more. My back feels better. I can feel I am sitting on my sit bones. My neck is relaxing.

Today I use the focus from Leo Babauta Zen Habits, where he suggests counting my breaths. On the in-breath or the out-breath, count from one to twenty. I count on the out-breath. If I lose my place begin counting again. Once I have made it to twenty, begin counting back down as in 20, 19, and 18 and so on. If I lose my place start back at 20 and count back down until I reach one.

This is easy and it is hard. I found I had to begin again once in both directions. The point is not to beat myself up about this. It is what it is.

It so amazes me how quickly 30 minutes go by. It always feels like I had just sat down and now I am done.

Today makes day six of meditating. What I have found is that I feel calmer even in the midst of chaos. I know I am practicing detachment because I find myself seeming to be on the outside looking in at what is going on and watching. I have no desire to get involved.

I had forgotten what this feels like and I like it.

Once I was done with meditating, I felt like, yes, I am going to that meeting this morning. I brushed my teeth and hair. I got dressed and attempted to look becoming. I put on some lipstick and my blue mascara. I even wore my black beret.

I think I am going to try another brand of blue mascara because the Lancome brand doesn't seem to show up as blue. I want the color to be noticeable.

Which, when I am done here I need to do my "first things first." Such as, balancing my checkbook, creating my budget since tomorrow is pay day, and writing checks for our bills.

And I leave you with this bit of wisdom: If you are happy be sure to tell your face.

mz. em
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Days Meditating: 6
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Currently reading:
-- "Taltos" - Anne Rice
-- "The Daily Book of Art/356 readings that teach, inspire & entertain" - day 43
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