Sunday

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"That's the risk you take if you change: that the people you've been involved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along." - Lisa Alther, March 7, "Night Light: A Book of Meditations - Amy E. Dean
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This is a book I read from before I go to bed. The nightly devotions bring a sense of calmness regardless of what the day has brought.

So to begin, I've taken such a risk as mentioned in the quote above.

Let me tell you it was scary.

But, not scary enough to make me quit the risk.

I began by beginning to take care of myself by thoughts, words, and deeds.

The thoughts were about what a good person I was. This one I had to "fake it" until I believed it. This meant I had to believe I deserved to be kind to myself. I deserved to have nice things. I deserved to be healthy. This wasn't as hard as the words and deeds but it did take some practice before healthy thinking became natural to me.

My words were to speak my truth. One of the sayings I heard at meetings was this: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it meanly." This is easy to say but hard to put into action when I am feeling attacked. However, I kept saying the Serenity Prayer, going over the slogans, and coming back to speaking my truth but nicely. I was given lots of practice by my HP and slowly it became easier to talk to my loved ones and when they disagreed, I would shake my head and say, "perhaps you are right." I let it go knowing I had said what I needed to say. When I find myself repeating what I have already said I know I am preaching to the choir. Once is good enough. As time went by my loved ones may not have always liked what I had to say but they knew I was speaking my truth and where they stood with me. Now this practice is not as scary as it was in the beginning.

Deeds = actions. Again this was a hard one for me. I didn't always know if the action I was taking was the "right" one. Growing up I always had to be right even if I didn't know what right was. Oh the terrors I went through worrying about doing the right thing. Usually I didn't say or do the right thing and all hell would break over my head. Going to plenty of meetings, working things out with my sponsor or talking with other members helped me to see what right action was all about. Granted, my actions were not always well received but people knew where they stood with me. Slowly, action by action, it became easier to know what I needed to do in any given situation. Now, I hardly think out what I need to do. If ever in doubt, I have my literature, my sponsor, or another member to talk things out.

Life has become so much easier now. I'm not in a hurry up mode. I'm not speechless when I need to say something that is not going to go over well. I can walk through these times knowing I am not walking alone, my HP is with me.
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I can't remember if I have written here about playing Lent Madness. It is a fun game based on the structure of March Madness of collegiate basketball. I am learning about the men and women comprising the church's (Episcopalian) calendar of saints and given a short biography of each person. Then you vote for the one that resonates with you. Results are noted the next day. It is quite fun and a good learning tool.

In yesterday's toledoBlade.com, David Yonke the religion editor did an article titled Mad for Lent? Game aims to show piety can be fun. An insightful article and I'm glad Lent is getting some positive exposure.
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Here is article from our local television station regarding the blast in our complex. Nothing was said about the suspicious item in the freezer. It makes my imagination go into overload! Here is another report from our local newspaper.
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I am a grumbling today since it is time to SPRING forward. Bah humbug! We still are getting the same amount of daylight hours whether it is in the morning or at night. Daylight doesn't change. Light will gradually increase until the Summer Solstice and then the daylight hours decrease. It has nothing to do with a clock. Grumble, grumble, and grumble. Yes, I am a curmudgeon on this note.

The day began overcast and it looked like we had some sprinkles because both the walkway and the patio were wet. Now at 3:28 p.m. the sun has come out and I see blue skies.

Yesterday I had a fun treat, my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. T gifted me with two, one-gallon pots of green plants. I was told that when they bloom I will have pink flowers. Oh, I can hardly wait. Slowly, along each side of my walkway to the door is being filled in with plants. Mr. T is also talking about putting a running water fountain on my side. It would help fill in the space in front of my window. All there is now is lava stone and some shrubs which the landscapers don't take care of.

Well, I feel I have kept you long enough. Have a wonderful Sunday.

mz. em

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Currently reading:

-- Sue Grafton ABC Gift Collection: "A is for Alibi, B is for Burglar, C is for Corpse"
-- "Living, Loving & Learning" - Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
-- "The Daily Book of Art/356 readings that teach, inspire & entertain" - day 139
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