Friday

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"Why should I buy expensive art when I can make my own?" - Piero Milani
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I am ever so grateful that the bad days do pass. Some quicker than others but good days do come again.

I am still not quite up to par but better than yesterday. I began my day with 30 minutes of meditation and then went for a 45 minute walk. Both bolstered my mood. The day was sunny and I think, this too, improved my disposition.

I took three more flower photos and collected some rocks, by the road side, to use in the bottom of my flower pots to aid in drainage. I see some gardening in my future.
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While I was out, the maintenance guys came and instead of replacing the thermostat on our stove, they brought a brand new one. Whoo hoo! They told Michael that the part in question was back ordered (this is odd because I was told at the beginning of the week, they had the part) and instead of making us wait, they would give us a new stove.Then when the part finally arrives, maintenance will repair our former stove and have it as a back up if another stove breaks.

This stove, is gas, has an oven light, a clock and a timer. Michael also asked and received the manual for the stove. The guys were of the mind we didn't need it. Later as Michael read through the manual he found useful things on how to keep the stove top and the oven clean, the oven door comes off, to make cleaning the oven easier; and, the broiler comes out and the pan can be washed in the dishwasher. Another whoo, hoo in this part of the country. Life is good.
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After yesterday's blues, I found my blessings to be:

1. Taking time to meditate
2. Going for a walk
3. Combating anxiety about leaving the apartment and overcoming that anxiety
4. I have three new flower photos
5. We have a new stove
6. I had a wonderful lunch prepared by Michael
7. Today, I began creative writing
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I attended the Friday night meeting. I had thought to stay home but I talked myself into going and I am glad I did.

Some points that were made were:

1. Not to be negative towards ourselves
2. Be willing to forgive ourselves
3. Have compassion and acceptance of ourselves
4. Be willing to change

The last one, be willing to change, really pushed some buttons for me. I write this because it feels like all my life, until I got into the program; I was always changing to please someone else. I wanted to be liked. I did whatever it took to be the person the other person wanted.

It's no wonder I ended up physically and emotionally sick.

Now I reflect back on the quote I typed some days ago:

"That's the risk you take if you change: that the people you've been involved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along." - Lisa Alther

This was taken from "Night Light: A Book of Nighttime Meditations" by Amy E. Dean

So, yes some folks have fallen by the wayside. I feel sad. Yet, I have new friends who like me just the way I am and I don't have to be the chameleon any longer. And, this is a good thing.
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I returned home to an apartment that smelled yummy. So with dinner, we watched Grimm on NBC and had a peaceful evening.

mz. em

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Currently reading:
-- "Kill Alex Cross" - James Patterson
-- "Living, Loving & Learning" - Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.
-- "The Daily Book of Art/356 readings that teach, inspire & entertain" - day 151
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