You can post whatever you want.

Whenever you want. (Fine, provided the soft/hardware)

However you want. (Thiswayorthat.)

People can feel whatever they want to feel about it. It doesn't matter to you.

Why should it?

You never asked them to read it.

And yet...and yet...I'm bloggerated when people read what I write and actually feel something from it.

I feel cheated.

Cheated that I couldn't have met this person in real life.

Perhaps that's another reason for these things. (See entry "Why?")

Maybe it's like putting up bait - my life online. Or my bloggable life, anyhow. I say, "This is my life! This is what I want to say whether you like it or not! Read it and know that who I am and stand for exists! This is what I think!"

Hopefully someone wanders into it and comes out from the unreachable distance of anonymity to my personal space, albeit in the form of text on a screen.

I find myself tempted to constantly check on the comments, ever hoping for that little jump in the number. Then I pounce on it with my mouse like a little kid opening a present.


Someone knows and cares that I'm alive!


...


Am I so starved?

Suddenly it matters that I update my blog. Suddenly it matters that I write well. (Hopeless, this one)Suddenly I'm tempted to do weird things like keep to posting on odd days. (Up till now it's been co-incidence. Really. But it does seem kinda nice, no?...See - there I go again...)

...Suddenly...

I have so much more to find out, so much more to learn.

And after learning? What will I do then?

"To know and not to do is not yet to know" - some Zen teaching(I think)

Gotta take a break.