I've come to expect people wanting me to help them get pink elephants. They seem to think that these things grow on trees, and that I have a secret orchard full of them, just waiting to be handed out to whosoever asks.

Pink elephants, contrary to popular belief, are rare and shy animals that use their miniature size to avoid attention. Not to mention predation of worse yet, capture. The average pink elephant is only seen, captured or eaten once in its life. (Though not necessarily in that order.)

Little is known about the pink elephant except that they have built their elaborate mating rituals around the astrological phenomenon of the blue moon. Again, it is laughable how even knowing this, people somehow excpect your pockets to be overflowing with pink elephants on demand.

Pink elephant mating rituals are a rare and beautiful expression of nature. Whole troupes of up to fifty animals come together to dance in what has come to be known as "The Wild Goose Chase", before breaking off in pairs to complete the rarely climatic "Needle in a Haystack" courtship ritual.

Pink elephants are an integral, if shy and overlooked, part of nature. They should not be hauled into office environs to be placed as trophies on the desks of prancing sharks.

Save the pink elephants! Stop asking for them!